Well I tried to carve out just 12 days in 3 weeks to complete the real estate licensing course
and I just barely squeaked it out. Olivia, Tim and I got sick and I missed exactly the limit
I was permitted without having to make up classes. I am exhausted. I was running Olivia
to school and driving another 20 minutes to class then the teacher luckily let us out almost
a half hour early everyday and I had just enough time to pick Olivia up so Tim would not
have to leave work and do it. I was getting an apartment ready for a new tenant, running Olivia back and forth to cheerleading practices, as well as
all my other countless duties. I remember many years ago working two jobs and still being
caught up. I have been a stay-at-homer for a long time now and am hopelessly behind. I just
cannot seem to stay on top of all my responsibilities. Tim finally blew his gasket about the
same thing the other night. He has had it. Most wood flooring guys, and many contractors, are sitting home
waiting for the phone to ring and Tim has stayed busy throughout this economic slowdown.
We are happy in one way but the lack of free time and even time to work on what he wants
to do around our own house is getting to him. I just don't know how we can simplify our life.
It bothers me that he is battling MM and not living the life he wants to live. On one hand, he
takes a lot of pride in his work and he is successful at it. I'm sure it helps to have goals and
purpose in life but when you own your own business, it is never a 9 to 5 thing. Nights are
spent on the phone or doing estimates. Before he knows it, he's kissing Olivia goodnight and did not even get to talk to her about her day. Some days I am so tempted to find some small town to move to where
we can live a simpler life. That will not happen living in Bergen County, NJ paying ridiculous
property taxes and all the other inflated NJ prices of things. Not being independently wealthy
or a lottery winner, the only way we could do this is sell everything and move to Walton's mountain. Unfortunately, our families(aka support system and emergency babysitters) are
here and I don't think I'll find any MM specialists or top of the line hospitals out in the boonies.
I feel like we are caught on the treadmill of life and can't figure out how to get off it. It's impossible for me to feel calm while living at this frantic pace. The days fly by and I feel like
we are not doing anything that we really WANT to do. Just going through the paces hardly
seems good enough to me anymore. Such a waste of precious time. If somebody figures out
the answer to this predicament, let me know.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
WHAT WAS I THINKING buying a rental house
Tim and I have been doing the landlord thing since 1991. I have always wanted to invest
in real estate. It is not an easy way to make money but I know more about real estate than
the stock market so it's what I do. We sold a one family rental we had in 2003 thinking the
market had topped out. Boy were we wrong but we still did well and with Tim starting his
own business, I wanted to have less responsibility. We had also done a complete re-hab on our
own old house stripping it down to the studs and I thought by selling the rental, I would finally
get Tim to finish what he started. I was wrong again. Our house is mostly done but I still don't
have trim on most of my upstairs. AND true to form, Tim is a wood flooring contractor and I
have 2 wood floors that still are not done. I don't know how that happens. I sleep with my floor
guy for crying out loud! Anyway, about the only thing I can say about being a landlord that has
been consistant all these years is this. 1. It is a royal pain and 2. Tenants lie like crazy. I spent
about 2 and a half or 3 years trying to find a 2 family house. I needed a project as my brain was
turning to jelly being a stay-at-home mom to a kid that was in full time school now. So I finally
find a good one for a great price right around the corner. We closed in Feb. 07 and 10 days
later Tim winds up in the hospital and is diagnosed with cancer. I wanted to sell right away.
What meant so much to me 10 days ago was nothing but a headache now. Tim said no. We
did a bunch of work on the big appt. when he was buzzed out on Revlimid and high dose Dex.
Then just as I was about to go get my real estate license last winter, the other tenant moves
and I spent 3 months doing a complete rehab on that apt. We rent it to a young guy and his
girlfriend and she lasts about a month. We had all sorts of headaches with him and he just
broke his lease to move to CA for his job. Bad timing as I am taking the RE course now but
I was glad to be rid of the guy. Another huge liar. I wound up renting to a woman who is
a social worker but she has a grey hound. She had an "all but the paper" kinda marriage
thing with a guy and the wheels fell off and she could not find a decent place that would take
her dog. I liked her and went for it. Now my downstairs tenant (after telling me before she
moved in that she would never get a pet) has asked for a cat. I told her no way and today,
her boyfriend/fiance tells Tim he wants to move in with his son. Oh and they have a dog.
Tim says no dogs. I have had it with tenants. It was bad enough that she told me it was
her and her 4 year old daughter moving in and next thing you know she has her 10 year
old twin boys there half of every week. She thinks my husband is her personal "honey do"
guy and constantly wants this or that done. She was late with the rent again, this time 10
days and now she thinks I'm gonna allow six people in a 2 bedroom apt.(she has bunk beds
in the den). Everytime I think there is gonna be some smooth sailing with this place, all
heck breaks lose and I am sick of it. And every single tenant we have had has lied to us like
crazy. I can't tolerate liars. Her fiance basically acted like he was doing us a favor by asking
first. Hello rocket scientist, you are not permitted to live there! Read the lease! OY. Then he brings up the
dog upstairs. Man I have to calm myself down before talking to these people. I swear if they
think I'm gonna be pressured into anything, they're gonna be finding a new place to live.
As always, I am always blown away at the audacity of people. Are there no people left in the
world who are true to their word? I mean, when I tell someone something, they can take it
to the bank. I rarely meet anyone like that anymore. I need this aggravation like I need a
hole in my head. In all these years, I have also learned that you have to be firm with people
or they'll walk all over you. So I am gonna take a firm line here and if they don't like it,
quelle domage!!!! If memory serves that's "what a shame" in french. The great thing is I
had so many people looking for a 2 bedroom when I rented this last one and I always keep
names. The other great thing is these apartments are beautiful and in a great area so they
rent in a day. Helps to be playing from a position of power but it is a headache turning over
tenants. As always, my husband called it with her too. I am always trying to find the good in
people and give them the benefit of the doubt and always get disappointed. He, on the other
hand, gets one hint and tells me they're jerks and this is gonna happen or that and he's always
right. About that anyway. :) He's usually wrong about everything else!! Well onto the next
pickle. It's always something. This should be interesting.
in real estate. It is not an easy way to make money but I know more about real estate than
the stock market so it's what I do. We sold a one family rental we had in 2003 thinking the
market had topped out. Boy were we wrong but we still did well and with Tim starting his
own business, I wanted to have less responsibility. We had also done a complete re-hab on our
own old house stripping it down to the studs and I thought by selling the rental, I would finally
get Tim to finish what he started. I was wrong again. Our house is mostly done but I still don't
have trim on most of my upstairs. AND true to form, Tim is a wood flooring contractor and I
have 2 wood floors that still are not done. I don't know how that happens. I sleep with my floor
guy for crying out loud! Anyway, about the only thing I can say about being a landlord that has
been consistant all these years is this. 1. It is a royal pain and 2. Tenants lie like crazy. I spent
about 2 and a half or 3 years trying to find a 2 family house. I needed a project as my brain was
turning to jelly being a stay-at-home mom to a kid that was in full time school now. So I finally
find a good one for a great price right around the corner. We closed in Feb. 07 and 10 days
later Tim winds up in the hospital and is diagnosed with cancer. I wanted to sell right away.
What meant so much to me 10 days ago was nothing but a headache now. Tim said no. We
did a bunch of work on the big appt. when he was buzzed out on Revlimid and high dose Dex.
Then just as I was about to go get my real estate license last winter, the other tenant moves
and I spent 3 months doing a complete rehab on that apt. We rent it to a young guy and his
girlfriend and she lasts about a month. We had all sorts of headaches with him and he just
broke his lease to move to CA for his job. Bad timing as I am taking the RE course now but
I was glad to be rid of the guy. Another huge liar. I wound up renting to a woman who is
a social worker but she has a grey hound. She had an "all but the paper" kinda marriage
thing with a guy and the wheels fell off and she could not find a decent place that would take
her dog. I liked her and went for it. Now my downstairs tenant (after telling me before she
moved in that she would never get a pet) has asked for a cat. I told her no way and today,
her boyfriend/fiance tells Tim he wants to move in with his son. Oh and they have a dog.
Tim says no dogs. I have had it with tenants. It was bad enough that she told me it was
her and her 4 year old daughter moving in and next thing you know she has her 10 year
old twin boys there half of every week. She thinks my husband is her personal "honey do"
guy and constantly wants this or that done. She was late with the rent again, this time 10
days and now she thinks I'm gonna allow six people in a 2 bedroom apt.(she has bunk beds
in the den). Everytime I think there is gonna be some smooth sailing with this place, all
heck breaks lose and I am sick of it. And every single tenant we have had has lied to us like
crazy. I can't tolerate liars. Her fiance basically acted like he was doing us a favor by asking
first. Hello rocket scientist, you are not permitted to live there! Read the lease! OY. Then he brings up the
dog upstairs. Man I have to calm myself down before talking to these people. I swear if they
think I'm gonna be pressured into anything, they're gonna be finding a new place to live.
As always, I am always blown away at the audacity of people. Are there no people left in the
world who are true to their word? I mean, when I tell someone something, they can take it
to the bank. I rarely meet anyone like that anymore. I need this aggravation like I need a
hole in my head. In all these years, I have also learned that you have to be firm with people
or they'll walk all over you. So I am gonna take a firm line here and if they don't like it,
quelle domage!!!! If memory serves that's "what a shame" in french. The great thing is I
had so many people looking for a 2 bedroom when I rented this last one and I always keep
names. The other great thing is these apartments are beautiful and in a great area so they
rent in a day. Helps to be playing from a position of power but it is a headache turning over
tenants. As always, my husband called it with her too. I am always trying to find the good in
people and give them the benefit of the doubt and always get disappointed. He, on the other
hand, gets one hint and tells me they're jerks and this is gonna happen or that and he's always
right. About that anyway. :) He's usually wrong about everything else!! Well onto the next
pickle. It's always something. This should be interesting.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
It's always something
I know that this blog shows what a roller coaster our life has become since Tim's diagnosis.
I guess life has always been that way for us due to my own medical stuff over
the years but it is certainly magnified now. One minute we're up and the next can have me
struggling very hard to avoid a nervous break-down. So only 4 days after learning
that Tim is in a remission, I take Olivia for her check-up yesterday and the nurse walks in
and tells me she has protein in her urine. I cannot even put into words what it did to me. I
was already bummed that she probably needs eyeglasses but the last time a nurse said anything
to me about protein in urine was in the ICU of a hospital 18 months ago this week while Tim was very sick with strep sepsis and we were told 2 days later he had MM. I knew this would be the
"straw that broke the camel's back" if something was wrong with Livvy. She said there was a
possibility that it was from dehydration but that was kinda extreme if she had not just been
super active. I said my daughter is a horrible drinker. She always has been and it is a problem
that we are constantly battling. Olivia is a great kid but I talk to the wall a lot with her. The constant repeating myself makes me nuts and she really lets a lot go in one ear and out the other. It's genetic, she gets it from her father. Unfortunately, they learn everything the hard
way and I am left to fix everything. It's very frustrating to say the least. So I was instructed to
force her to drink as much as she could and bring in a morning urine today on the first day of
school. I spent all night thinking this could be lymphoma, leukemia, diabetes, MM(our doc treated a 12 or 14 year old boy once). I hardly slept and cried alot. We took her to her first day
of school at her new school today and I cried all the way back to the car and to the doctors'
office. I sat in the waiting room and begged God not to do this to us. I mean, cut us some slack
OK. Mercifully, the nurse came out and said it was from dehydration and she is fine. Again,
I have no words. If that test came out positive, they would have had to literally pick me up
off the floor. Having a kid is all at once the most wonderful and the scariest thing I have ever
done in my life. These scares take years off your own life. I have had to be so strong this last
year and a half and I have felt my ability to do that weakening in the last few months. Someone
asked me how I was doing last week and I said, "well, I suppose I could still fog a mirror up
if you put it in front of my face." He laughed but I really think sometimes that would be the
best I could manage. I don't
know how Tim does it but I wish I had the mind control he does. Anyway, our prayers were
answered. Aside from needing spectacles, Olivia is healthy and happy and that is a very good
thing. My husband now understands why I have said it's a good thing I cannot tolerate alcohol.
He said this morning, "you're right, you'd be an alcoholic by now." I said it's also a good thing I
am so fearful of meds or I'd be addicted to tranqualizers too. How I am getting through this
without something is beyond me. It's a miracle, I tell ya. Well I gotta go start counting my
blessings.
I guess life has always been that way for us due to my own medical stuff over
the years but it is certainly magnified now. One minute we're up and the next can have me
struggling very hard to avoid a nervous break-down. So only 4 days after learning
that Tim is in a remission, I take Olivia for her check-up yesterday and the nurse walks in
and tells me she has protein in her urine. I cannot even put into words what it did to me. I
was already bummed that she probably needs eyeglasses but the last time a nurse said anything
to me about protein in urine was in the ICU of a hospital 18 months ago this week while Tim was very sick with strep sepsis and we were told 2 days later he had MM. I knew this would be the
"straw that broke the camel's back" if something was wrong with Livvy. She said there was a
possibility that it was from dehydration but that was kinda extreme if she had not just been
super active. I said my daughter is a horrible drinker. She always has been and it is a problem
that we are constantly battling. Olivia is a great kid but I talk to the wall a lot with her. The constant repeating myself makes me nuts and she really lets a lot go in one ear and out the other. It's genetic, she gets it from her father. Unfortunately, they learn everything the hard
way and I am left to fix everything. It's very frustrating to say the least. So I was instructed to
force her to drink as much as she could and bring in a morning urine today on the first day of
school. I spent all night thinking this could be lymphoma, leukemia, diabetes, MM(our doc treated a 12 or 14 year old boy once). I hardly slept and cried alot. We took her to her first day
of school at her new school today and I cried all the way back to the car and to the doctors'
office. I sat in the waiting room and begged God not to do this to us. I mean, cut us some slack
OK. Mercifully, the nurse came out and said it was from dehydration and she is fine. Again,
I have no words. If that test came out positive, they would have had to literally pick me up
off the floor. Having a kid is all at once the most wonderful and the scariest thing I have ever
done in my life. These scares take years off your own life. I have had to be so strong this last
year and a half and I have felt my ability to do that weakening in the last few months. Someone
asked me how I was doing last week and I said, "well, I suppose I could still fog a mirror up
if you put it in front of my face." He laughed but I really think sometimes that would be the
best I could manage. I don't
know how Tim does it but I wish I had the mind control he does. Anyway, our prayers were
answered. Aside from needing spectacles, Olivia is healthy and happy and that is a very good
thing. My husband now understands why I have said it's a good thing I cannot tolerate alcohol.
He said this morning, "you're right, you'd be an alcoholic by now." I said it's also a good thing I
am so fearful of meds or I'd be addicted to tranqualizers too. How I am getting through this
without something is beyond me. It's a miracle, I tell ya. Well I gotta go start counting my
blessings.
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