Well, we are gonna try to get another vacation in. We normally go to Vermont for Memorial Day.
Now that Olivia is in school, that means missing a few days but I've always been one to think that travelling can teach kids more than they learn in the classroom anyway. She will be working on the dairy farm across the street and she loves it. A few less days around Mr. Adkins makes this a win-win situation. My parents will be going up too and staying with my sister and brother-in-law in Craftsbury so this should be a good time. Just hoping for some warm weather(we've had snow on May 31st up there before) and that the black flies don't hatch while we're there. As always, I have a lot that has to be done before we leave and I'll be exhausted by the time we jump in the "mommy van" but it's worth it to have some respite from the responsibilities
around here.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
If ya can't shoot 'em, dunk 'em.
Well I can't stop laughing because I just found out that Olivia's principal has volunteered
to be a "sitter" in the dunk tank at the year-end BBQ at her school this year. I have volunteered
to help with the BBQ and I suggested putting the dreaded Mr. Adkins up there(Olivia's teacher).
That brought a round of laughter from the committee but they said there would be a LOOONNNGGG line of people waiting to take a crack at him!!! Sign me up. Just might be the
most effective fundraiser this school could have. If they are really worried about crowd control,
instead of the $2.00 a throw, we could auction the chance to dunk him!!! Anyway, it just so happens that yours truly is pretty lethal with a softball. Growing up amongst a neighborhood of jocks who needed girls to round out the teams and 5 years of
coaching Liv's softball team have brushed the cobwebs off and I dunked Olivia's last principal
in one easy shot last year. He offered to be dunked again this year. Looks like I may just have
to throw the old apron off and take a break from taking weenies out of the water and go put
two big weenies in the water. Might be even more fun to watch Olivia do it instead. Put them
professional pitching lessons to good use!!! :o)
to be a "sitter" in the dunk tank at the year-end BBQ at her school this year. I have volunteered
to help with the BBQ and I suggested putting the dreaded Mr. Adkins up there(Olivia's teacher).
That brought a round of laughter from the committee but they said there would be a LOOONNNGGG line of people waiting to take a crack at him!!! Sign me up. Just might be the
most effective fundraiser this school could have. If they are really worried about crowd control,
instead of the $2.00 a throw, we could auction the chance to dunk him!!! Anyway, it just so happens that yours truly is pretty lethal with a softball. Growing up amongst a neighborhood of jocks who needed girls to round out the teams and 5 years of
coaching Liv's softball team have brushed the cobwebs off and I dunked Olivia's last principal
in one easy shot last year. He offered to be dunked again this year. Looks like I may just have
to throw the old apron off and take a break from taking weenies out of the water and go put
two big weenies in the water. Might be even more fun to watch Olivia do it instead. Put them
professional pitching lessons to good use!!! :o)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The tunes, they are a changin'
Well I have not heard from Olivia's teacher. I thought there was a chance the principal told
him not to respond to my e-mail and I was right. The principal called me instead, admitted he'd done that, and we spent over a half hour on
the phone. He began the conversation by completely contradicting what he said to me last
Thursday and Friday. He said that this WAS his responsibility to fix this problem and he
was going to handle it. He tried a few times to make a point about something that was not the issue in order to stick up for this teacher in some way but I had too much proof and logic and left him with
no comeback several times. I told him I was not interested in splitting hairs or going off the
topic and that he certainly did not have to take my word on everything. There is an aid
in his class everyday, I told him to ask her if what I was saying was true and the kids for that matter. I have a feeling he
may have asked her already or someone warned him that he had better stop saying that
it was not his job to fix this or he could make trouble for himself because his whole attitude had
completely changed. I told him that I was considering a petition and letter writing campaign and
that we were still furious that this happened. He asked me what I wanted to have happen now.
I told him I wanted the teacher to apologize to Olivia and that if he so much as looked at her
sideways for the next 5 weeks, I was going to go forward. I have a friend who is on a board of
education in a neighboring town. I have another friend who is a high school principal. Even my
sister-in-law, who is a pre-school teacher, was giving me advice on how a bad teacher in their town was removed due to a petition. I told the principal that I had spoken to them over the weekend(I had) and that they were urging me to go forward with this. I said that if the kids
all dislike him as well as the parents and if several teachers and staff members that we know(mostly through Tim's business) come right out and tell us they feel bad that Olivia got
him as a teacher, this man is obviously a problem. I told Olivia that I know this was upsetting for her but many times good things come out of bad things happening. I said that since
she and I stuck up for her and the kids, maybe things will improve now for his future students.
I wanted to put some kind of positive spin on this whole cruddy situation. The end -of -school party should be interesting. I am one of the class moms. Awkward or not, I will be there,
and with my little digital voice recorder in my pocket you can bet.
him not to respond to my e-mail and I was right. The principal called me instead, admitted he'd done that, and we spent over a half hour on
the phone. He began the conversation by completely contradicting what he said to me last
Thursday and Friday. He said that this WAS his responsibility to fix this problem and he
was going to handle it. He tried a few times to make a point about something that was not the issue in order to stick up for this teacher in some way but I had too much proof and logic and left him with
no comeback several times. I told him I was not interested in splitting hairs or going off the
topic and that he certainly did not have to take my word on everything. There is an aid
in his class everyday, I told him to ask her if what I was saying was true and the kids for that matter. I have a feeling he
may have asked her already or someone warned him that he had better stop saying that
it was not his job to fix this or he could make trouble for himself because his whole attitude had
completely changed. I told him that I was considering a petition and letter writing campaign and
that we were still furious that this happened. He asked me what I wanted to have happen now.
I told him I wanted the teacher to apologize to Olivia and that if he so much as looked at her
sideways for the next 5 weeks, I was going to go forward. I have a friend who is on a board of
education in a neighboring town. I have another friend who is a high school principal. Even my
sister-in-law, who is a pre-school teacher, was giving me advice on how a bad teacher in their town was removed due to a petition. I told the principal that I had spoken to them over the weekend(I had) and that they were urging me to go forward with this. I said that if the kids
all dislike him as well as the parents and if several teachers and staff members that we know(mostly through Tim's business) come right out and tell us they feel bad that Olivia got
him as a teacher, this man is obviously a problem. I told Olivia that I know this was upsetting for her but many times good things come out of bad things happening. I said that since
she and I stuck up for her and the kids, maybe things will improve now for his future students.
I wanted to put some kind of positive spin on this whole cruddy situation. The end -of -school party should be interesting. I am one of the class moms. Awkward or not, I will be there,
and with my little digital voice recorder in my pocket you can bet.
Monday, May 11, 2009
The problem with tenure
Well this was a red-letter weekend. We celebrated Olivia's birthday(her 11th) and one year
since Tim had his last chemo treatment. I have a combination Mother's day and
birthday party every year which went well and Olivia is enjoying her new trampoline. Unfortunately, we had a bad incident happen that put a damper on a lot of this. Olivia got the
worst teacher in the school this year. It's not that he can't teach, it's that he is a miserable person who seems bent on making everyone around him unhappy as well. He actually seems to get some kind of sadistic kick out of insulting his students, many times using sarcasm or double-talk
to see if they even realize they have been insulted. His students are denied many things that all
the other students have(like indoor recess when it rains) and I finally had enough. My daughter
has come home on several occasions with hurt feelings either because of what he said to her or
one of her classmates and making the kids work without speaking while the rest of the school is
having recess this rainy spring put me over the edge. He has a long-standing reputation in our
district as being horrible and my husband has done flooring jobs for several of his co-workers
(one just last week) who come right out and tell him they feel bad that Olivia got him as a teacher. I had a talk with the principal on Thursday about this. He tried very hard to side-step
and tell me that I should be talking to the teacher before getting administration involved.
I answered that the last time I went to him with a problem, he just denied doing something that
he was clearly doing and that since this man has made his own rules and been complained about
so often and for so many years, this was something that needed to be solved and could not be solved by me. "He works for you" I said. "You are supposed to be managing your employees." It's a long story but basically he told me he would talk to the teacher but was not happy when I said I did not want my name mentioned for fear he would take it out on my kid. There
are several other parents I have met this year who have felt the same way. The next day, I
dropped off a child who was so excited to be celebrating her birthday with her friends. I picked
up a child who was upset and extremely disappointed. It seems Mr. Adkins passed out the snacks that Olivia brought in and let the children eat them while Olivia was in another classroom
and not yet returned from another subject. The children were not permitted to sing happy birthday or even wish her that it seems as a few kids whispered it to her when she returned and that was it. Her birthday "celebration" happened without her. Can you see the smoke coming out of my ears from where you sit? Olivia told me this after
we left her classroom(I met her there to help carry the food containers) and I was outside the
principal's office when she finished the story. I could not believe what I was hearing. I stopped in my tracks and made her repeat it to be sure. I told a woman in the office to get the principal for
me. She asked what it was in reference to. I said, tell him my name, he'll know.They found him and he walked up to
me and I gave him a talking to he won't soon forget. I told him what happened and his face visibly dropped. It was such a drastic expression change that the first thing that popped into my
mind was he told the teacher who complained. Whether he did or not, I told him that the reason
a teacher gets away with behaving like this despite so many complaints is that someone is dropping the ball and that someone was not me. He again stated that this is supposed to be handled with the teacher first before coming to him and I told him again that it was not my job to manage his staff and there's no way that I can solve the problems with this teacher(without being sued or put in prison, and no I didn't say the prison part but I did say the sued part was why
I was not in his classroom right now). Can ya tell I was pissed? I can't remember the last time I was this furious.
I told him 364 days is a long time for a 10 year old to wait for her birthday. This was inexcusable and he had better deal with it. Either way, the damage is done. My daughter was so
hurt. I told that principal that in my mind, I don't care how smart or experienced this guy is,
the rule is, FIRST DO NO HARM. The mean and self-esteem damaging remarks he makes to
these kids is unacceptable. I kept my voice as controlled as possible during this conversaton
and I had sent Olivia outside to hang out with her friends but I was spittin' nails and this guy got an earfull from me. This morning, my kid was afraid to go to school. It's one thing when he does something to the whole class. This was directed at her personally. When Tim got
home right after I did from picking Olivia up on Friday, I was in the back yard pacing. I told him
what happened and he wanted to get back in his truck and head back to the school. Ya know, I've said it before that the circumstances in my life have left me feeling like I have had a lot of
bad luck. I don't want my daughter's life to feel like that to her but unfortunately, she is only
11 years old and that sweet little girl has had way too many bad things thrown at her. It's very
hard to see as a parent. I have people telling me it's time to start a petition on this guy. Judging
by his widespread reputation and the stories I've heard from other parents, it just may work to
force some change but I don't need another job. I would be doing it for other kids at this point which was largely why I came forward to complain anyway but I already have so much to do
to try to take care of my own family. I told Olivia I would take care of this and I am but is it only going to
make her life worse if I take this further. You rat out a bully and they get revenge. I'm not afraid of him, but our daughter is. Ya know, I am not a combative person. I really do not thrive on this
kinda thing but you mess with my kid or my man and I just can't stand by quietly and let it happen. This teacher lost a daughter at some point. I don't know how. I heard one story that she
was hit by a car and was older and another that she died of cancer at 8. However it happened, I would fault no
parent who has gone through that if they spent the rest of their life mad at the world. But if this
is the reason he is so miserable, it's still not fair to take it out on a bunch of innocent kids who
had nothing to do with what happened to his child. And it is certainly not a good way to have her live on through him by abusing others with his anger. Do something positive with that emotion. I have said before that I am angry at what has happened to my husband and our daughter with his MM diagnosis. If it were not for the fact that I have forced myself to find
small little positive things to do as a result of this intruder in our life, I think I would have lost my mind
by now. Mostly I find comfort in trying to help others through support, sharing knowledge or
whatever I can do to ease someone else's burden. I am part of a group of MM patients and caregivers and loved ones and we need each other. Whether we know each other personally or through an internet site, they help me and I try to help them. It is essential and it is healing to
the soul. One man who recently passed from MM was a teacher. His wife got so many comforting letters from former students saying how positively her husband had influenced them to the point that some had become teachers because of him. How wonderful to have a legacy like that.
To live your live touching others like that is powerful and you live on in those people and the deeds you have done. Olivia's teacher is doing the opposite with his time here and while I do not
think it's fair in any job that a good and long-standing employee is let go without good reason and
there should be some protection against that, tenure is responsible for keeping some very bad
teachers on the job and affecting our children's lives sometimes for far longer than just the 10 months they spend with them. That just shouldn't be. Well, I just had to get this off my chest.
I don't know where this is headed but that man owes our daughter an apology and based on
how he reacts to my e-mail to him and the principal's actions, he just may get himself in for more than he bargained for with me.
since Tim had his last chemo treatment. I have a combination Mother's day and
birthday party every year which went well and Olivia is enjoying her new trampoline. Unfortunately, we had a bad incident happen that put a damper on a lot of this. Olivia got the
worst teacher in the school this year. It's not that he can't teach, it's that he is a miserable person who seems bent on making everyone around him unhappy as well. He actually seems to get some kind of sadistic kick out of insulting his students, many times using sarcasm or double-talk
to see if they even realize they have been insulted. His students are denied many things that all
the other students have(like indoor recess when it rains) and I finally had enough. My daughter
has come home on several occasions with hurt feelings either because of what he said to her or
one of her classmates and making the kids work without speaking while the rest of the school is
having recess this rainy spring put me over the edge. He has a long-standing reputation in our
district as being horrible and my husband has done flooring jobs for several of his co-workers
(one just last week) who come right out and tell him they feel bad that Olivia got him as a teacher. I had a talk with the principal on Thursday about this. He tried very hard to side-step
and tell me that I should be talking to the teacher before getting administration involved.
I answered that the last time I went to him with a problem, he just denied doing something that
he was clearly doing and that since this man has made his own rules and been complained about
so often and for so many years, this was something that needed to be solved and could not be solved by me. "He works for you" I said. "You are supposed to be managing your employees." It's a long story but basically he told me he would talk to the teacher but was not happy when I said I did not want my name mentioned for fear he would take it out on my kid. There
are several other parents I have met this year who have felt the same way. The next day, I
dropped off a child who was so excited to be celebrating her birthday with her friends. I picked
up a child who was upset and extremely disappointed. It seems Mr. Adkins passed out the snacks that Olivia brought in and let the children eat them while Olivia was in another classroom
and not yet returned from another subject. The children were not permitted to sing happy birthday or even wish her that it seems as a few kids whispered it to her when she returned and that was it. Her birthday "celebration" happened without her. Can you see the smoke coming out of my ears from where you sit? Olivia told me this after
we left her classroom(I met her there to help carry the food containers) and I was outside the
principal's office when she finished the story. I could not believe what I was hearing. I stopped in my tracks and made her repeat it to be sure. I told a woman in the office to get the principal for
me. She asked what it was in reference to. I said, tell him my name, he'll know.They found him and he walked up to
me and I gave him a talking to he won't soon forget. I told him what happened and his face visibly dropped. It was such a drastic expression change that the first thing that popped into my
mind was he told the teacher who complained. Whether he did or not, I told him that the reason
a teacher gets away with behaving like this despite so many complaints is that someone is dropping the ball and that someone was not me. He again stated that this is supposed to be handled with the teacher first before coming to him and I told him again that it was not my job to manage his staff and there's no way that I can solve the problems with this teacher(without being sued or put in prison, and no I didn't say the prison part but I did say the sued part was why
I was not in his classroom right now). Can ya tell I was pissed? I can't remember the last time I was this furious.
I told him 364 days is a long time for a 10 year old to wait for her birthday. This was inexcusable and he had better deal with it. Either way, the damage is done. My daughter was so
hurt. I told that principal that in my mind, I don't care how smart or experienced this guy is,
the rule is, FIRST DO NO HARM. The mean and self-esteem damaging remarks he makes to
these kids is unacceptable. I kept my voice as controlled as possible during this conversaton
and I had sent Olivia outside to hang out with her friends but I was spittin' nails and this guy got an earfull from me. This morning, my kid was afraid to go to school. It's one thing when he does something to the whole class. This was directed at her personally. When Tim got
home right after I did from picking Olivia up on Friday, I was in the back yard pacing. I told him
what happened and he wanted to get back in his truck and head back to the school. Ya know, I've said it before that the circumstances in my life have left me feeling like I have had a lot of
bad luck. I don't want my daughter's life to feel like that to her but unfortunately, she is only
11 years old and that sweet little girl has had way too many bad things thrown at her. It's very
hard to see as a parent. I have people telling me it's time to start a petition on this guy. Judging
by his widespread reputation and the stories I've heard from other parents, it just may work to
force some change but I don't need another job. I would be doing it for other kids at this point which was largely why I came forward to complain anyway but I already have so much to do
to try to take care of my own family. I told Olivia I would take care of this and I am but is it only going to
make her life worse if I take this further. You rat out a bully and they get revenge. I'm not afraid of him, but our daughter is. Ya know, I am not a combative person. I really do not thrive on this
kinda thing but you mess with my kid or my man and I just can't stand by quietly and let it happen. This teacher lost a daughter at some point. I don't know how. I heard one story that she
was hit by a car and was older and another that she died of cancer at 8. However it happened, I would fault no
parent who has gone through that if they spent the rest of their life mad at the world. But if this
is the reason he is so miserable, it's still not fair to take it out on a bunch of innocent kids who
had nothing to do with what happened to his child. And it is certainly not a good way to have her live on through him by abusing others with his anger. Do something positive with that emotion. I have said before that I am angry at what has happened to my husband and our daughter with his MM diagnosis. If it were not for the fact that I have forced myself to find
small little positive things to do as a result of this intruder in our life, I think I would have lost my mind
by now. Mostly I find comfort in trying to help others through support, sharing knowledge or
whatever I can do to ease someone else's burden. I am part of a group of MM patients and caregivers and loved ones and we need each other. Whether we know each other personally or through an internet site, they help me and I try to help them. It is essential and it is healing to
the soul. One man who recently passed from MM was a teacher. His wife got so many comforting letters from former students saying how positively her husband had influenced them to the point that some had become teachers because of him. How wonderful to have a legacy like that.
To live your live touching others like that is powerful and you live on in those people and the deeds you have done. Olivia's teacher is doing the opposite with his time here and while I do not
think it's fair in any job that a good and long-standing employee is let go without good reason and
there should be some protection against that, tenure is responsible for keeping some very bad
teachers on the job and affecting our children's lives sometimes for far longer than just the 10 months they spend with them. That just shouldn't be. Well, I just had to get this off my chest.
I don't know where this is headed but that man owes our daughter an apology and based on
how he reacts to my e-mail to him and the principal's actions, he just may get himself in for more than he bargained for with me.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Q: Can I help? A: I don't know, can you?
It's kinda enlightening to see the different ways people react to our "situation." It can
also be really disappointing too but as always, you learn so much in the hard times. You find
that sometimes complete strangers or folks who know you but not that well can be more helpful than your own DNA pool. You find that some people claim to want to help but it's only lip service or something they want to represent to others that they "did" for you. I've always been fascinated by "human nature" and watching behaviors and listening to people. There's this
Oprah saying that she actually got from (oh what's that poet's name? I've read her books. It'll come to me). Anyway, it goes "when people show you who they are, believe them." It's something I try to remember. The fact is people do show you who they are and usually quite effectively. Many times, folks try to read things into people because it's what they prefer to believe instead of the truth. Sometimes ya just have to accept people for what they are and move on. If you find yourself having to keep giving the benefit of the doubt to someone, it may
be time to just doubt. We have had many acts of kindness happen to us in the last 2+ years.
There's no doubt there are some really good people in this world. We have also been stung at times when we have had to face the truth about some folks especially when you thought they
would be among the ones that would be "there" for us. People who really are helpful are the kind
of folks who ask what they can do and mean it. They do not have a pre-conceived idea of what they are willing to do(which is many times what you don't need) and they don't do it just so they
can run out and brag that they did. Sometimes they understand how hard it is for us to accept help so they just show up when they know we need a hand. Others just tell us, you call us whenever you need us or come out and ask if they can cut our lawn or whatnot. We do live in a
neighborhood of some wonderful people and it is a blessing to know how many of them would
help with Olivia or whatever we needed with just a phone call. What gets me down sometimes
is the people who ask how Tim's doing and even though you were only gonna have a 15 second
answer to that question, you realize 3 seconds into it that they are not even paying attention to
your reply. They just asked cause that's the thing to do and my answer is supposed to be "fine"
and that's it. I have a new thing where I just stop mid sentence and do not finish. Why waste my breath. They usually don't notice that I stopped and then I know they just wanted the "fine". Then there are those who you are counting on to help with Olivia or something and
when the time comes, they have other things to do or their own agenda always comes first. This seems to always happen at the most important times and boy does it stink. You'd like to tell this
person just what you think of their "help" but can't. I think in some ways, my own actions are part of the problem. I am a "handler." Something needs to be done, I do it. I have been with Tim every step of the way and he even told me that most people think I do not need help because of how I have dealt with everything. Not true but there are times that I just do it all cause I guess
I have trouble accepting help and can't trust that certain people are gonna really do what they
said they would anyway. The funniest part about this whole deal is that it is the people who do the very least(or nothing at all) that give themselves the most credit! Brag the most about them "being there" for us. Ah yes. It's not who you are, it's what you can convince people you are.
Maya Angelou!!!!! I knew it would come to me. That's the poet. Anyhoo, as always in life, having
both ends of the spectrum teaches you to appreciate the good. I am so appreciative of my family and friends and neighbors and those strangers who do something so kind, you could just cry with the humanity of it all. When Tim was first diagnosed, I really thought we were headed for financial ruin. We had just bought a rental property 10 days before he was hospitalized and taken out a mortgage on it of course. He is self-employed and I am a stay-at-home mom. I was panicked thinking of what could happen to us. I had just signed up for a yoga class with my sister that only cost about $100 or so and was an 8 week series. I called a man who ran this out of a local high school(there are lots of different classes) and explained that my husband had just been dx'ed with cancer and that I had no idea if I could make the classes and financially couldn't spend the money. It was past any refund date and they usually take a
$20. administration fee out of refunds anyway. The man sent me a note with the FULL amount
back to me and told me that he would like me to come to whatever yoga sessions that I could
make it to as their guest(thinking correctly that I could really use the relaxation and escape of it all) and wished me well, etc. I was so touched. I called him and than goodness got his voicemail
cause I never would have made it through a conversation without bawling. His kindness to a stranger just bowled me over and I told him that. It may seem like a small thing but when you
are in those really tough spots, sometimes that's all it takes is a small act of kindness to really help a person. More than the act itself is that it restores your faith. I try to remember that in my dealings with people everyday. You never know when your small act of kindness may be just what someone needed at that moment.
also be really disappointing too but as always, you learn so much in the hard times. You find
that sometimes complete strangers or folks who know you but not that well can be more helpful than your own DNA pool. You find that some people claim to want to help but it's only lip service or something they want to represent to others that they "did" for you. I've always been fascinated by "human nature" and watching behaviors and listening to people. There's this
Oprah saying that she actually got from (oh what's that poet's name? I've read her books. It'll come to me). Anyway, it goes "when people show you who they are, believe them." It's something I try to remember. The fact is people do show you who they are and usually quite effectively. Many times, folks try to read things into people because it's what they prefer to believe instead of the truth. Sometimes ya just have to accept people for what they are and move on. If you find yourself having to keep giving the benefit of the doubt to someone, it may
be time to just doubt. We have had many acts of kindness happen to us in the last 2+ years.
There's no doubt there are some really good people in this world. We have also been stung at times when we have had to face the truth about some folks especially when you thought they
would be among the ones that would be "there" for us. People who really are helpful are the kind
of folks who ask what they can do and mean it. They do not have a pre-conceived idea of what they are willing to do(which is many times what you don't need) and they don't do it just so they
can run out and brag that they did. Sometimes they understand how hard it is for us to accept help so they just show up when they know we need a hand. Others just tell us, you call us whenever you need us or come out and ask if they can cut our lawn or whatnot. We do live in a
neighborhood of some wonderful people and it is a blessing to know how many of them would
help with Olivia or whatever we needed with just a phone call. What gets me down sometimes
is the people who ask how Tim's doing and even though you were only gonna have a 15 second
answer to that question, you realize 3 seconds into it that they are not even paying attention to
your reply. They just asked cause that's the thing to do and my answer is supposed to be "fine"
and that's it. I have a new thing where I just stop mid sentence and do not finish. Why waste my breath. They usually don't notice that I stopped and then I know they just wanted the "fine". Then there are those who you are counting on to help with Olivia or something and
when the time comes, they have other things to do or their own agenda always comes first. This seems to always happen at the most important times and boy does it stink. You'd like to tell this
person just what you think of their "help" but can't. I think in some ways, my own actions are part of the problem. I am a "handler." Something needs to be done, I do it. I have been with Tim every step of the way and he even told me that most people think I do not need help because of how I have dealt with everything. Not true but there are times that I just do it all cause I guess
I have trouble accepting help and can't trust that certain people are gonna really do what they
said they would anyway. The funniest part about this whole deal is that it is the people who do the very least(or nothing at all) that give themselves the most credit! Brag the most about them "being there" for us. Ah yes. It's not who you are, it's what you can convince people you are.
Maya Angelou!!!!! I knew it would come to me. That's the poet. Anyhoo, as always in life, having
both ends of the spectrum teaches you to appreciate the good. I am so appreciative of my family and friends and neighbors and those strangers who do something so kind, you could just cry with the humanity of it all. When Tim was first diagnosed, I really thought we were headed for financial ruin. We had just bought a rental property 10 days before he was hospitalized and taken out a mortgage on it of course. He is self-employed and I am a stay-at-home mom. I was panicked thinking of what could happen to us. I had just signed up for a yoga class with my sister that only cost about $100 or so and was an 8 week series. I called a man who ran this out of a local high school(there are lots of different classes) and explained that my husband had just been dx'ed with cancer and that I had no idea if I could make the classes and financially couldn't spend the money. It was past any refund date and they usually take a
$20. administration fee out of refunds anyway. The man sent me a note with the FULL amount
back to me and told me that he would like me to come to whatever yoga sessions that I could
make it to as their guest(thinking correctly that I could really use the relaxation and escape of it all) and wished me well, etc. I was so touched. I called him and than goodness got his voicemail
cause I never would have made it through a conversation without bawling. His kindness to a stranger just bowled me over and I told him that. It may seem like a small thing but when you
are in those really tough spots, sometimes that's all it takes is a small act of kindness to really help a person. More than the act itself is that it restores your faith. I try to remember that in my dealings with people everyday. You never know when your small act of kindness may be just what someone needed at that moment.
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