On Sunday, we went up into New York state to celebrate my niece's 7th birthday. My parents
were sick so Tim and I offered to pick up my niece's gifts and bring them to the party. It added
45 minutes to our trip but if we didn't, my mom intended to drive to our house and back to drop
them off. I normally take back roads to my parents' house but to save time(not really) and try to
get Olivia from point A to B to C without carsickness and medication that makes her grouchy, I
took the highways. NOT a good call. It was raining and there was some crazy phenomenon going
on on route 80. I always drive slower in the rain especially after hydroplaning in Vermont one time driving my husband's old monster-tired bronco. TRES scary. So I am driving down route 80 and we see an empty SUV that was resting along the curb backwards. Then we see cops at 2 sites. One of which I was not sure of the reason but the other was another accident. Then we see yet another car on the side of the road. I started to tell Tim and Olivia of the time 20 plus years ago when I saw a kid in a small car come onto a highway and quickly cut across 3 lanes of traffic right in front of me only to hit an oil spot or something and he spun around and wound up facing the wrong way in the fast lane of another crazy highway near the one I was on. I'll never forget the look on his face. Just as I finish this story, the SUV 2 spots ahead of me begins to fishtail. He loses control and starts spinning all over the highway. At one point, he almost flipped over and he just missed hitting the curb 2 lanes from where he started. He got back going straight and by this time, I knew there was something wrong with this road. I backed
off the gas even more and started white knuckling it. As I passed the truck that did this, I saw that the man driving was stunned and the woman in the passenger seat was holding her head in her hands obviously quite upset. Just a few seconds later, a large car behind me spun out and started going across lanes of traffic circling as he went and crashed into the curb or guardrail on the shoulder of the road. OK, now this is insane. If it had not been my niece's b-day, Olivia wanted us to take her to a nascar race in Delaware and here we were feeling like we were driving in one ourselves with cars spinning out left and right. I pulled into the slow lane and backed it down even further. I prayed to make it to the exit and wondered if this could be oil rising up with this rain or what. Years ago I was told by a southern California guy that when it rains, their
roads turn to oil slicks because of the build up that results from so little rain and he said accidents are very common. That was the only way I could explain what we saw this day. It was scary. We got to my mom's safely and Tim took over driving to my sister's with me watching the
speedometer and yelling if he went too fast. I wondered if we would hear about this on the news and sure enough, it made the paper yesterday. There was a total of 43 accidents on that stretch of road but they blamed it on speeding drivers in the rain. Not true. I don't know why we made it through unscathed. I thought back a few years when I got new tires for the mommy van. I told the guy, "I don't want the cheepest tires you have for this vehicle. I want the ones you would put on it if it were your wife's car." Tim was with me and said "Wait a minute, you don't know how much he likes his wife." I said, "OK then give me the tires you would put on your own car." I think it's crazy to save money on tires. I told the guy that I wanted the best rain handling tires he had for my car. Maybe that was why this didn't happen to us on Sunday. I thought too of all the little things in life that change it's course so drastically, like timing. The two cars that had just spun out right near me somehow did it when there were not cars in the lanes that they spun across. We ourselves should not have even been on this road were it not for Tim saying we would do this favor. We tread a thin line all of our lives between life and death, good times or
catastrophe. I knew as I drove down that highway that we could easily be next and it might not end as well as the 2 I'd just witnessed. I also felt a little bit like I have felt about Tim's remission and his MM battle. I know several people who have relapsed and others, that I know from blogs or the acor list, who have died. For the last 16 months we have been just white knuckling it and trying to stay straight and in control while all around us others are spinning out and losing their sense of control. You don't know why things happen as they do but you are painfully aware of your vulnerability in this process. Life is so random. It changes in the blink of an eye. Everytime you get in your car, a zillion stars align that either get you to your destination in one piece or not. Every second is another chance for the path of your life to change
course dramatically. We are all faced with the same exact risks. I applaud those people who can
live their life without ruining it with the "what if " disease that I have had for years. Being a worry wart may have saved my ass a few times but it's also ruined my chance at real enjoyment at others. I know that I will be staying the heck off route 80 for awhile. Why push it? I sent a thankyou heavenbound when we made it to our destination and hoped that everyone else on route 80 that day at least stayed in one piece. Man, life is risky. I heard a quote one time that said something to the effect of, "you can't be so afraid of dying that you don't start living." I guess it's another one of life's "fine lines." I guess somewhere there is the perfect balance between care-free and careful. I haven't found it so I keep praying, being grateful and worrying,
not exactly in that order.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I don't get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was coming home from dropping Olivia off at school today and I hear on the radio that the Ukraine is not going to allow Elton John and his partner to adopt a 14 month old orphan with
HIV. The reasons are that you cannot be more than 45 years older than the child(I read just now on the web that Elton is 62 but his partner is 46) but the REAL reason is that they refuse to recognize that gays are married and you must be married to adopt(translated, you can't be gay). I just can't get my brain around some of these adoption rules. I think all adoptions should be looked at on a case by case basis. You have to think of the alternative for this poor kid.
I mean, what rocket scientist thinks that he is better off in an orphanage instead of
with 2 men in a LONG term devoted relationship? And I hate to bring money into it but this child does have a serious illness. The Ukraine folks admit they have a hard time getting people to adopt their sick orphans and lets face it, Elton has more money than he knows what to do with
and could get this kid the best medical care in the world as well as opportunities that he couldn't even dream of. I saw a TV program not long ago that showed the unimaginable mental problems that a lot of the adopted kids from this area have due to conditions
in orphanages. They have "failure to bond" issues and things I've never heard of. In many cases,
the families that adopted them have had to give the kids back. They cannot cope or the adopted kid is trying to kill their other child. One family on this program did not give the girl back but this angry, violent child has ruined their quality of life completely and they've spent enormous amounts of money trying to get help for her. The longer they spend in orphanages, the greater the chance that they will not develop normally and be plagued with problems probably for life.
There are many loving homes out there. They may be gay couples, they may be single but I sure think if they have the dedication, desire, and the financial ability, it sure beats having a child stuck in the system. We have a lot of gay couples in our neighborhood. They are all really nice and fit in wonderfully around here. To be honest, there a few straight couples that we all wouldn't mind seeing "for sale" signs on their lawns. Being gay does not stop you from being a loving parent. Hell, if Elton wants to adopt me, where do I sign. I know ALL his songs even every word to Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. I don't understand what the darn song means
but I KNOW the words. Can I have my own horse? PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEE!
HIV. The reasons are that you cannot be more than 45 years older than the child(I read just now on the web that Elton is 62 but his partner is 46) but the REAL reason is that they refuse to recognize that gays are married and you must be married to adopt(translated, you can't be gay). I just can't get my brain around some of these adoption rules. I think all adoptions should be looked at on a case by case basis. You have to think of the alternative for this poor kid.
I mean, what rocket scientist thinks that he is better off in an orphanage instead of
with 2 men in a LONG term devoted relationship? And I hate to bring money into it but this child does have a serious illness. The Ukraine folks admit they have a hard time getting people to adopt their sick orphans and lets face it, Elton has more money than he knows what to do with
and could get this kid the best medical care in the world as well as opportunities that he couldn't even dream of. I saw a TV program not long ago that showed the unimaginable mental problems that a lot of the adopted kids from this area have due to conditions
in orphanages. They have "failure to bond" issues and things I've never heard of. In many cases,
the families that adopted them have had to give the kids back. They cannot cope or the adopted kid is trying to kill their other child. One family on this program did not give the girl back but this angry, violent child has ruined their quality of life completely and they've spent enormous amounts of money trying to get help for her. The longer they spend in orphanages, the greater the chance that they will not develop normally and be plagued with problems probably for life.
There are many loving homes out there. They may be gay couples, they may be single but I sure think if they have the dedication, desire, and the financial ability, it sure beats having a child stuck in the system. We have a lot of gay couples in our neighborhood. They are all really nice and fit in wonderfully around here. To be honest, there a few straight couples that we all wouldn't mind seeing "for sale" signs on their lawns. Being gay does not stop you from being a loving parent. Hell, if Elton wants to adopt me, where do I sign. I know ALL his songs even every word to Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. I don't understand what the darn song means
but I KNOW the words. Can I have my own horse? PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEE!
Monday, September 14, 2009
The walls are closing in
Well it's that time again. I am trying, once again, to clean out our spare room and create a much needed office for myself. I just do not know what to do with things that can't be in the heat of an
attic nor the dampness of a basement. If anyone tells you that clutter does not cause stress,
THEY'RE LYING!!!!! Tomorrow, it will be 15 years since we closed on this house. We are still not done with the renovations that were started back then and I will NEVER do this again. We gutted this place completely but not all at once. We have accomplished an awful lot but then everything came to a screeching halt and has never resumed. As if that
were not bad enough, our house has become cluttered up with stuff and we have outgrown this place before we have even finished it. This all bothers me, a lot. I have had numerous yard sales along with my mom, sisters, and even a few friends who take advantage of our location to unload their junk but still,
it keeps building up. To buy a bigger house is not an option now. I pay ridiculous property taxes. I don't want to pay more so I must figure out a way to get rid of what we don't need and organize what we can't part with. Problem is a lot of the junk is Tim's and he is both sentimental and too busy to go through it. When I get started I wind up getting so frustrated that I quit or just never get to finish the tasks for lack of time. If I didn't have to foodshop, cook, clean, pay bills, do business paperwork, run my mommy taxi service, and make good on the volunteering I do with Olivia's activities(girl scouts, cheerleading, softball), maybe
I could actually start and finish a large task around here but alas, there is no one else to fill in and
do all those other things to free me up. I picked Olivia up from a friend's house the other day.
They have 4 kids in a house smaller than mine. OK, her house is not neat either but we have
1 kid for crying out loud. My house should not be overrun like it is. On the other hand, my one neighbor has 4 kids(whose friends are constantly over there),
2 dogs and a cat and every room of her house looks like a page out of a Pottery Barn catalog.
Makes me wanna hurl everytime I see that. I wish I could be the type that could just chuck it all.
I can't see putting furniture and good stuff in a landfill when folks can use it. I also don't mind the many occasions I have sold over $1200 worth of stuff in one weekend. It's a ton of work but a win-win situation in my mind. I truly believe something Bette Midler said on a TV show one time when talking about how little her daugher had. She said, "the more you have, the less you value it." It certainly is true with Olivia. She has way too much. I stopped buying things a long time ago unless it was for birthday or holidays. But the stuff she gets from everyone even then
is too darn much and I don't think she values the stuff at all. It's all in the "getting" for her.
Once it's "got", the thrill is gone. She does not get this from me. I don't like to shop and rarely find anything I need or desire when I do. I have learned that stuff begins to own you if you have
the wrong attitude about it. It's amazing how little you need to get by and more than that, how
much happier you'd be if you were not bogged down with crap. I've been bogged down for too long. Time to dig out.
attic nor the dampness of a basement. If anyone tells you that clutter does not cause stress,
THEY'RE LYING!!!!! Tomorrow, it will be 15 years since we closed on this house. We are still not done with the renovations that were started back then and I will NEVER do this again. We gutted this place completely but not all at once. We have accomplished an awful lot but then everything came to a screeching halt and has never resumed. As if that
were not bad enough, our house has become cluttered up with stuff and we have outgrown this place before we have even finished it. This all bothers me, a lot. I have had numerous yard sales along with my mom, sisters, and even a few friends who take advantage of our location to unload their junk but still,
it keeps building up. To buy a bigger house is not an option now. I pay ridiculous property taxes. I don't want to pay more so I must figure out a way to get rid of what we don't need and organize what we can't part with. Problem is a lot of the junk is Tim's and he is both sentimental and too busy to go through it. When I get started I wind up getting so frustrated that I quit or just never get to finish the tasks for lack of time. If I didn't have to foodshop, cook, clean, pay bills, do business paperwork, run my mommy taxi service, and make good on the volunteering I do with Olivia's activities(girl scouts, cheerleading, softball), maybe
I could actually start and finish a large task around here but alas, there is no one else to fill in and
do all those other things to free me up. I picked Olivia up from a friend's house the other day.
They have 4 kids in a house smaller than mine. OK, her house is not neat either but we have
1 kid for crying out loud. My house should not be overrun like it is. On the other hand, my one neighbor has 4 kids(whose friends are constantly over there),
2 dogs and a cat and every room of her house looks like a page out of a Pottery Barn catalog.
Makes me wanna hurl everytime I see that. I wish I could be the type that could just chuck it all.
I can't see putting furniture and good stuff in a landfill when folks can use it. I also don't mind the many occasions I have sold over $1200 worth of stuff in one weekend. It's a ton of work but a win-win situation in my mind. I truly believe something Bette Midler said on a TV show one time when talking about how little her daugher had. She said, "the more you have, the less you value it." It certainly is true with Olivia. She has way too much. I stopped buying things a long time ago unless it was for birthday or holidays. But the stuff she gets from everyone even then
is too darn much and I don't think she values the stuff at all. It's all in the "getting" for her.
Once it's "got", the thrill is gone. She does not get this from me. I don't like to shop and rarely find anything I need or desire when I do. I have learned that stuff begins to own you if you have
the wrong attitude about it. It's amazing how little you need to get by and more than that, how
much happier you'd be if you were not bogged down with crap. I've been bogged down for too long. Time to dig out.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Road rage in NJ
I have said that NJ is famous for road rage. It's truly unbelievable. I could go on forever about the things idiots do around here and sorry ladies but the "soccer moms" are the worst. Many, notice I did not say all, can't be bothered stopping at stop signs even if it means pulling onto a main road and cutting you off. They never use turn signals cause they're on the damn phone and don't have an extra hand. There are way too many narcissistic people in this state who purposely ride on shoulders or in turn-only lanes only to cut back into traffic after passing all of
us "little people." I have said that if you ever wanted to lower the population of this state, you would need only to pass the "right to carry firearms" law and there would be bodies laying
on every highway and suburban street in this state. Maybe an even easier way would be to put everyone on dex. Actually the way people behave here, maybe they already are hopped up on dex.
I am a pretty calm driver. I don't look for trouble but it is hard not to get ticked when someone
does something illegal or damn near runs you off the road coming into your lane and then flips YOU the bird. Getting cut off is an almost daily event. Now add the PMS that accompanies peri-menopause to this mix and I can tell
ya truthfully that if I was on Dex, I would have to stop driving in this state. Yesterday, we went
to a mall I have not been to in probably 15 years. I hate to shop and this is one of the biggest and busiest malls in NJ and it was Labor Day too. We were going to buy one of those sleep number beds and I knew it would be mobbed. So you know what you're in for and you take a deep breath, relax and just deal with it. As I waited in an aisle for a couple to get to their car and pull out, a woman pulled behind me and proceded to honk her horn like crazy along with the old
arm flapping gestures and all. I gestured back that I was waiting for that spot. She did not give a rip. She wanted me to pull over to the side so she could get around me. Now obviously, she did not care that in these very narrow aisles with all these SUV's sticking out I would then not be able to angle my car into that spot without a huge amount of trouble. But the idiot also was not going to be able to make it around my car even if I did pull over the little bit of area that was left. The last time a woman tried something like this, she took the back fender of my mustang with her.
She continues to lay on the horn. I see that there is a handicapped tag hanging from her rearview and she has a man in the passenger seat. They were older than me but finally, I had had it. I put the car in park and start to get out to tell this woman what she can do with her horn
and Tim grabs me and doesn't let me get out. He later regretted this as she still did not stop and
the woman pissed him off too. So I put my car in reverse so my back-up lights went on and
got a little bit of satisfaction from the worried look on her face and she quick put her car in reverse but had nowhere to go. I must say that this tactic was much more fun when I had a stick
shift. You could put the car in reverse and hit the gas like hell with the clutch in and it makes it
more entertaining to watch their reaction. Finally the people got out of the spot and I pulled in but obnoxious lady, if you're out there, here's a few tips. 1. If you don't have any patience whatsoever, do not go to the Garden State Plaza on a huge sale day. 2. Do not beep incessantly at a sleep-deprived, worn out caregiver who has PMS. Truth be told, you are lucky my husband was in that car. You darn near got WAY more than you bargained for. I had seen a bumper sticker that I just loved on the computer or somewhere. I never thought I'd see it on a car lest
I was tooling around in Texas. I finally saw one on a guy's car just a few weeks ago and I laughed.
It says, "Keep honking, I'm re-loading." I'd love to put this on the mommy van but somehow think the moms of Olivia's friends might be just a little nervous about play dates and carpooling if I was sportin' that beauty. It's temping though! So here is a final lesson to any road ragers that might be reading. An old school friend of my sister was a chronic road rager. He looked for a challange everytime he drove. If someone passed him on the highway, he thought they were
looking for a race. So one day, it all caught up with him. I believe he was still in his 20's(it's quite some time ago now). He starts road raging someone on a busy highway near us and loses control of his pick-up in the process and flips the thing into a pole. He died. His family was devastated but everyone that knew him was not surprised. And these darn cell phones! A few years back, they landed a medivac helicopter at my daughter's schoolyard. Seems a woman a few towns away was talking on her cell phone with her 2 kids in the car. She ran a red light and got hit by a bus. Her kids were banged up. One had a broken pelvis. The mom was in bad shape. This was so heartbreaking. She lingered for a week in the hospital and then died. I know. Stinky stories but they are true and stuff like this happens every darn day. Look people, like the "High School Musical"
song says, "we're all in this together." So take a chill pill, be considerate, get off the damn phone
and drive for Pete's sake!!!!!!!! AND PLEASE DO NOT beep or flip birds at caregivers with PMS.
us "little people." I have said that if you ever wanted to lower the population of this state, you would need only to pass the "right to carry firearms" law and there would be bodies laying
on every highway and suburban street in this state. Maybe an even easier way would be to put everyone on dex. Actually the way people behave here, maybe they already are hopped up on dex.
I am a pretty calm driver. I don't look for trouble but it is hard not to get ticked when someone
does something illegal or damn near runs you off the road coming into your lane and then flips YOU the bird. Getting cut off is an almost daily event. Now add the PMS that accompanies peri-menopause to this mix and I can tell
ya truthfully that if I was on Dex, I would have to stop driving in this state. Yesterday, we went
to a mall I have not been to in probably 15 years. I hate to shop and this is one of the biggest and busiest malls in NJ and it was Labor Day too. We were going to buy one of those sleep number beds and I knew it would be mobbed. So you know what you're in for and you take a deep breath, relax and just deal with it. As I waited in an aisle for a couple to get to their car and pull out, a woman pulled behind me and proceded to honk her horn like crazy along with the old
arm flapping gestures and all. I gestured back that I was waiting for that spot. She did not give a rip. She wanted me to pull over to the side so she could get around me. Now obviously, she did not care that in these very narrow aisles with all these SUV's sticking out I would then not be able to angle my car into that spot without a huge amount of trouble. But the idiot also was not going to be able to make it around my car even if I did pull over the little bit of area that was left. The last time a woman tried something like this, she took the back fender of my mustang with her.
She continues to lay on the horn. I see that there is a handicapped tag hanging from her rearview and she has a man in the passenger seat. They were older than me but finally, I had had it. I put the car in park and start to get out to tell this woman what she can do with her horn
and Tim grabs me and doesn't let me get out. He later regretted this as she still did not stop and
the woman pissed him off too. So I put my car in reverse so my back-up lights went on and
got a little bit of satisfaction from the worried look on her face and she quick put her car in reverse but had nowhere to go. I must say that this tactic was much more fun when I had a stick
shift. You could put the car in reverse and hit the gas like hell with the clutch in and it makes it
more entertaining to watch their reaction. Finally the people got out of the spot and I pulled in but obnoxious lady, if you're out there, here's a few tips. 1. If you don't have any patience whatsoever, do not go to the Garden State Plaza on a huge sale day. 2. Do not beep incessantly at a sleep-deprived, worn out caregiver who has PMS. Truth be told, you are lucky my husband was in that car. You darn near got WAY more than you bargained for. I had seen a bumper sticker that I just loved on the computer or somewhere. I never thought I'd see it on a car lest
I was tooling around in Texas. I finally saw one on a guy's car just a few weeks ago and I laughed.
It says, "Keep honking, I'm re-loading." I'd love to put this on the mommy van but somehow think the moms of Olivia's friends might be just a little nervous about play dates and carpooling if I was sportin' that beauty. It's temping though! So here is a final lesson to any road ragers that might be reading. An old school friend of my sister was a chronic road rager. He looked for a challange everytime he drove. If someone passed him on the highway, he thought they were
looking for a race. So one day, it all caught up with him. I believe he was still in his 20's(it's quite some time ago now). He starts road raging someone on a busy highway near us and loses control of his pick-up in the process and flips the thing into a pole. He died. His family was devastated but everyone that knew him was not surprised. And these darn cell phones! A few years back, they landed a medivac helicopter at my daughter's schoolyard. Seems a woman a few towns away was talking on her cell phone with her 2 kids in the car. She ran a red light and got hit by a bus. Her kids were banged up. One had a broken pelvis. The mom was in bad shape. This was so heartbreaking. She lingered for a week in the hospital and then died. I know. Stinky stories but they are true and stuff like this happens every darn day. Look people, like the "High School Musical"
song says, "we're all in this together." So take a chill pill, be considerate, get off the damn phone
and drive for Pete's sake!!!!!!!! AND PLEASE DO NOT beep or flip birds at caregivers with PMS.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
