It's all in the interpretation

So I made it through the talent show. Last year, Liv sang alone and was on near the
end of the program. I was nervous the whole time. This year, she sang with a friend and earlier
on in the show and it was much better on my nerves. They sounded great. She definitely didn't
get her pipes from me. They waited till almost the very end of the show to put the girl, Demi,
on to sing about her mom who'd died. What none of us expected who'd heard about Wednes-
day's rehearsal was that they were going to bring out a huge portrait of the woman and place
it on an easel as her daughter sang to the photo. Yup, I was tearing up before the music even
started. Her mom was an absolutely stunning blonde woman with a megawatt smile and in
the photo, she is hugging a large black and white "tuxedo" cat who bore an uncanny resemblance
to a certain "Buckwheat" some of you may remember. So of course, the tissues came out. The
audience was silent through the whole song and the girl got the only standing ovation of the night.
When the show ended, Olivia's friend came back by her mom, who was near me, and told me
Olivia got hysterical during that song. Then she said, "well not hysterical but she was crying bad."
The mom thing kicked in and all I could think about was finding Liv to see if she was OK. I turned
to go find her
and she was walking up the aisle with her eyes a bit teary but composed. So of course, my heart
is breaking thinking this poor, sweet kid was wondering if she could be in a similar position some
day because Tim has cancer. So we talk about the performance and it turns out, the cat reminded
her of when we lost our Sophie dog and apparently, that's what got her. Ya know, you just can't
assume anything with kids. They'll surprise you every time. I'm not sure yet if I have the whole
story of course. There's still a chance she would not come out and say it if she was thinking something else too but I don't want to push the issue. If it was all about Sophie, we'll go with that for sure. Luckily, they wrapped up the show with a
very funny act so we all didn't leave ready to off ourselves. 3 boys took the stage in black shirts,
tight black leggings, and black, lady's shoes and danced to Beyonce's "All the single ladies" doing the moves they do in the video. Flippin' hysterical. It was a fun night and these kids are so darn
brave. And this year, just like last year, a girl who you'd least expect got up and knocked everybody out with an unbelievable voice. Half of my softball team performed tonight. We
had to cancel our game because of this show. All I can say is, I wish to heck they could field
as well as they can sing. We'd be in good shape. Sigh.

She brought the house down

Tomorrow night, Olivia is singing with a friend in her school's talent show. Last night,
they had a 3 hour rehearsal. When I picked them up, they both told me that a 5th grade girl
got up and sang a song called "I miss you" that Miley Cyrus wrote about her grandfather
who died. Before this girl started singing, it was announced that she was singing it in memory
of her mother who died of breast cancer when this girl was only 2 years old. Well, with the exception of a few boys who toughed it out, the whole place went to pieces including the girl singing. Ugh! This damn cancer business touches so many people. We have girls in that school that have or had it. One girl that lost her dad to colon cancer over 2 yrs ago. Other kids whose
moms were treated for breast cancer. Suffice to say, there are gonna be a few of us families
there tomorrow that will find this performance hits WAY too close to home. My plan: sit in the
back, don't bother with eye make-up, and put lots of tissues in my purse. Just wish I knew a way
to delete the memory before it chars into my gray matter. I don't know what's worse. Losing a parent and having never really known them or losing a parent that you adored and knew and feeling the pain of that loss. There's a huge void and painful loss either way. Just,I suppose, a
little less mourning when you're a baby or too young to comprehend what's happened. I so
wish I didn't have any reason to even think about this. SO, on a brighter note. Tim is going golfing
with my dad today. I'm a little concerned about his back but he and my dad get along so great and
always have a fun time so I hope it goes well. I asked him to back off his swing a little but you know he doesn't listen to me. He can hit the ball a mile. He doesn't get out to play much cause
spring and summer are his busiest times at work but has won the "longest drive" award in 2 different golf tournaments beating out better golfers(and much bigger guys) by far. On an even
brighter note, it looks like my neighbors are already getting some action on their house. They had
at least one showing that I know of the first day the sign went up. There were people there yesterday and last night, when we got back from the rehearsal, I saw the realtor with them as he was leaving and CeCe, the wife,was holding paperwork in her hands. Could it be that they have an offer already? I hope, I hope. It dawned on me today that I may finally be able to open the shades
on that side of the house after years of having them drawn against Mr. "can't seem to get his eyes
above the neck when he talks to me." Don't ask me why. I suppose he does that to all women. I'm always afraid of seeing binocular lenses looking
back at me so I don't open any bedroom shades upstairs even during the day. He works
from home a lot so I never know if he's there or not. I think this place will go fast. I think it's a little underpriced and that's rare in these parts. I know I'm gonna do EVERYTHING I can to get
that place sold. I've already talked to some of my realtor friends and I'm going out today to spiff
up my back yard a little. Well, gotta get off this comp. and get to them income taxes. Double UGH!!!

They're movin' OUT!!!

Well today, I saw a sign I have waited a long time for. The 4 sale sign was being installed
on my neighbors' front lawn. Yippee Ki-yay!!!!! This couple moved in about 7 years ago.
I fell asleep and woke up to hammering and banging every weekend for I can't tell you how long.
I have no problem with someone fixing up their house. We gutted and re-did ours too but you don't start power tools at 7 and 8 am on the weekends in these parts if you want to stay on good
terms with your neighbors(and keep working till 11 or midnight either). The houses are way too close for that. Add to that the fact that this guy has made several inappropriate comments to me(he is younger than my dad but not by much). Kinda yucky. And any of you longtime readers may recall the time this neighbor decided to start loading a dumpster at about 8 am on a Sunday
just after Tim got out of transplant. He woke up my whole exhausted family and I threw my clothes on and walked over and ran roughshod over the dude. He never woke us up again.
He made a very inappropriate comment about Tim and I to me(I think he was pretty drunk, he usually is) a day or so after we got back from transplant and I never told Tim for fear that I would have to bail Tim outta the clink for assault and battery as soon as he had the strength to knock this creep out. The day it happened, Tim saw my face when I walked in the door and knew I was about to lose it but I didn't tell him what was said. I just said, "I think you better hide my sidearm cause I'm about to use it." We are all civil now but I will not be too upset to see the moving van. Now, in the "be careful what you wish for" vein,
I just have to hope the "neighbor gods" don't stick me with a divorced Pamela Anderson look-a-like with a gaggle of loud, un-disciplined kids who spend all their time in our trampoline while sick with every illness right down to the bubonic plague 'cause ya know folks that would be my luck. I can
just hear it now. A breathy, little sexpot voice calling over the fence,
"Tim, could you move this piece of furniture, change this light bulb, check out my leaky toilet?"
OY!!!! Any of y'all looking for a house?!

NOBODY LISTENS TO ME!!!

Those 4 words are the story of my life, I swear. I have never been a risk taker. I have always figured that if I learned from my mistakes and even by some of the mistakes I've seen
others make, I'd be ahead of the game. I suppose this makes me a bit of a "lightweight" but
paying consequences has never been my idea of a good time. It is pretty aggravating though
when you constantly warn people not to do foolish things, they ignore you, and then you're stuck
picking up the pieces when EXACTLY what you said was gonna happen, happens. My husband
is the king of this and unfortunately it came right down the gene pool to our daughter. These
2 can really drive me to drink with this. With Olivia, well she's 11. You can understand that
kids do have to learn things for themselves sometimes. But if she does something that I have
warned her not to, and the wheels fall off , I do not coddle her or show her
any sympathy. It's the ol' "don't come crying to me, you made your choice," deal. I think
it's a dangerous habit to get into to clean up all your kids' messes. If they screw up, they gotta
deal with it. This is how I roll here. Too many people nowadays do not take responsibility for themselves. It's a learned behavior and a big peeve of mine. Unfortunately, there are WAY too many times that these screw-ups take me down with them and I have no choice but to try to salvage the situation.
So things happen in life, I get it, but I am so sick of dealing with the avoidable stuff over and over
again. This post would go on forever with examples of this( I am SO not kidding when I say it is a main theme in my life) but the latest is this. Tim hurt his
back doing practically nothing. He was at an estimate and heard something click after getting up
from an oddly low chair. That's it. Days upon days of excruciating pain, 1 trip to the ER, 3 stat
MRI's, a PET scan, crutches, me hurting my back helping him, and time unable to work and now what, the RPITA (hint: first word
is royal) is doing the most idiotic things and getting ticked off at me for asking him not to. Everytime I turn around he is doing something he shouldn't be: yardwork, lifting, waxing the car.
A lot of this stuff is just not necessary and can be done later. Nope, not in his mind. For instance, we cancelled a trip to Tennessee that I have been looking forward to for a long time
because sitting was the hardest thing for him and we were going to drive it.
We salvaged at least part of Olivia's school vacation by spending half a week in CT. The day before
we are to leave, mind you Tim is still having issues with his back, I walk out my front door to find
him in the yard on his hands and knees pulling clumps of grass out of the front mulch beds. Now
in my experience, that pulling motion is about the worst thing you can do for your back if the 5 months of agony from a bulging disc I had thanks to pulling a shrub out is any indication. I said,
"Tim what are you doing? We have to drive 3 hours tomorrow and then spend days walking! Are you kidding me? You are gonna hurt your back and mess up this vacation." He tells me to leave
him alone in a not-so-nice way. I was fuming. Later that night, out goes the back again. He got in the car
to drive the next day and couldn't do it. I was not feeling the greatest that day but had no choice but to drive. Our kid was in the car and we were setting off on vacation so I bit my tongue but I wanted to SCREAM!!!! I have no doubt in my mind that the gardening had something to do with it. You cannot do that stuff whilst in the throws of a back injury!!! So now, he just had to deliver wood to a job site. Usually, we have the companies deliver it to the job site but this time, it was delivered here and he was bringing it
there himself. So him and our employee finish putting a coat of polyurethane on today's job
and Tim sends Alan home(Al had to use the john) and tells him to just wait for him, he will load
the truck and pick him up and they will deliver it together. So I just watched Tim(actually tried to
help as best I could) load his pick-up with
a whole shipment of solid oak wood flooring which is banded together in pretty heavy bundles. I said, "Why are we paying an employee so you can do this with a hurt back?!!!"
Again with the nasty come-back. I hate throwing this at him but I said, "ya know, you're not
the only one who is put out around here when you mess up your back. This is ridiculous." I just
can't win with this stuff. After he had his transplant, he was out working in the yard and trimming
sticker bushes of all things(he was NOT supposed to be doing any of that) and I was so furious
I said to him, "it's obvious you don't care what I say or how difficult it is for me to have you in the hospital and a kid to take care of at home so maybe you should start thinking about how traumatizing it is for your daughter everytime I have to take you to the ER." I swear the stress,
combined with my variable(read high) blood pressure is gonna have me stroking out. I tell my family that I want "nobody listened to me" carved into my headstone. I told this to my very funny brother-in-law once, who said "Make sure they print it twice!" Good one Mike.

Timing is everything

Well today, we had a support group meeting at Tim's doc's place that I have been waiting for
for months. The new doctor, another top MM doc and a good friend of Tim's regular doc that
he finally convinced to come work here, was having a 90 minute "pick his brain" session where we
could ask him whatever we wanted to know about the latest in MM and treatments. Since Tim
has been stable and handled by a nurse practitioner instead of his doc, I have had some pretty
involved questions to ask for a long time and was so looking forward to asking them. Then at 4:30 am, in the middle of a dream, Olivia wakes me up and says, "My tummy hurts." Thinking this may just be
a little gas and maybe the "green apple two-step", I go in the lieu with her and she starts purging
her GI system from the north and the south. OH DANG!!! Now I am thinking of the meeting I
have waited soooooo long for and hoping that maybe it was from going out for ice cream with Tim
right before bed, but Liv eats ice cream a lot and is the type that can even mix foods and eat
pickles shortly after eating cookies and such. She doesn't get sick from that sort of thing. Nope, it's the stomach virus. She continues in this
fashion for the next 9 hours straight. My daughter is a skinny little thing who eats like a bird. I don't know where all this stuff was coming from. Honestly, I think she got rid of meals she hasn't
even eaten yet. I felt so bad. She was miserable. Luckily, she has not had the pukey virus in a long time but of all days, it had to be TODAY. We both had full schedules today and it mostly went
out the window. We had a softball game tonight too and our co-coach is having a hard time getting
to games on time due to his commute. Tim ran to the field exhausted after a long day at work and
got the chalk lines done while I stayed home and packed my stuff. Then I ran there to coach the game(field is just blocks away) and
he ran home to take care of Liv who was in pretty good shape when I left. We won the game and
when I got home, Liv looked and felt terrible. I feel her and she is burning up with fever. GREAT.
This always happens when I leave her home sick with Tim too. He tries to stay away from her so he doesn't catch it and
he kept checking on her but never touched her and I'm not sure he'd be able to tell if he did anyway. So I had to run to the store as we were out of the children's fever meds. I'd hardly eaten much all day and it was 8 pm now. I was starving
and in the mood for a Philly cheesesteak sandwich till I remembered that I'd been taking care
of a pukey kid all day and those stomach bugs are wicked contagious. A cheesesteak with peppers and onions is NOT something I want to see in an encore performance. Stuck with a can
of chicken soup for dinner. So I recall a few weeks ago making a comment that I was just a stomach virus or two away from my goal weight and I am hoping the GI gods know that I was KIDDING!!! I'd rather put up with my junk in the trunk than hurl for 9 hours, thank you.

Into the Mystic

Well we scrapped our Tennessee vacation because of Tim's back which is better but no where
near normal yet. He still cannot sit comfortably and certainly would not have made 4 days
of driving back and forth to Dollywood. So we decided to go to Mystic, CT which was about
3 hours going out due to road work but only 2 hours and 20 coming home. He started to drive
there on Wed. and within a half hour was in serious pain. We had to find a place to pull off which took awhile and I drove the rest of the way while he laid down in the pass. seat. He really wants
to tell the chiropractor to adjust him in hopes that it will "snap" him out of it. I'm afraid of what
it could do and I'm not even sure his chiropractor would want to risk it. What to do? Anyway,
Mystic was beautiful. I LOVE New England and there are many parts of it that make my short
list of "places I'd like to live." We ate at Mystic Pizza, made famous in the old Julia Robert's
movie and saw some terrific architecture from the 1700's and 1800's. Went to Mystic Seaport
Museum and the aquarium. It was a great couple of days and just what I needed to recharge
the old batteries. We are taking Olivia to many of the places that my folks took me as a child
which makes it even more special. And though she likes most of it, she does get bored with some
of it and complains. Kids don't appreciate things like adults do and I plainly recall
wanting to go back to campgrounds and swim in the pool or play in the arcade instead of sight-
seeing with my P's too. How my parents listened to 4 of us whine without killing us all
amazes me still. I told Olivia that someday, she will appreciate how her parents took her to see different places like me and my sisters all do and she will take her own kids here and remember when we took her. She said, "I'll take them to the aquarium, but definitely not the museum
we were at yesterday with the old houses(Mystic Seaport). That was BORING!" Our friends flew
out to California a week or so ago with their 4 and 6 year olds and took them to the Kid's Choice
Awards show where they shook hands with Will Smith and saw the awards show complete with
ear splitting screaming kids and celebrities being slimed. We take our kid to see old houses
and stuff. When you're old and boring like me, it don't take much. The kid's gonna have to get
over it.