Lazy days of summer

Well, summer is scooting by, as it always does. My daughter's social life is much more active, as she is old enough to go "downtown" with friends by herself. It's costing me a fortune. Living just a block from the main "Avenue" her friends come here, then go there, eat lunch, get Starbuck frappachinos,
and generally just spend money like it grows on trees. I do nothing but run a taxi service to friends' houses, the mall, and hand over 20 dollar bills these days. My kid is turning into a young woman, right before our eyes. Scary,
astounding, and miraculous all at the same time. So many people have commented to us about how pretty she is and how much "trouble" we are going to be in with her that Tim said the other day,
"damnit, why couldn't we have had a boy." He wouldn't trade her for nuttin', but it is frightening.
I saw her for the first time (for more than a glimpse) in a bikini the other day and the only thought that came to mind was, "oh crap."
Anyway, as for Tim and I. He is very busy, as always. Just dog-tired from working so hard. Wishes
he could step back more but finding help is tough. We just hired a kid, the boyfriend of a girl who lives down the block. Nice kid. We were so impressed with how he started out. Now, the kid has days when his brain does not show up and he's useless. First excuse was "I kinda have ADD." Now, he tells our other employee, "I kinda have depression." Ya know, if it's a medical thing, we'll try to work
with him, but too many times, you find out these kids are popping prescription pills. He recently told us his brother just kicked a habit of them, and that sent the red flags up about him. The bottom line is,
he is a danger to himself and Tim and Alan if he is that spaced out around power tools and such. I hope it works out, but I'm not holding my breath.
As for me, I am struggling with insomnia. Started before Easter and I just don't know what's going
on. I sleep a few hours and then I'm up. I am so exhausted I have to be careful about driving and feel
like heck most of the time. Thinking it's just hormones but really debilitating at this point. My brain
has been fried for so long and it's hard to accomplish much around here like this. I am still working with my docs on BP meds. Switched to a different type due to side effects. This one is working well but then started making me feel really bad. We dropped the diuretic part of it, and now I'm hoping I can stay on it. It is aggravating my asthma, so I'm back to inhaling steroids, but I have to be on something, so we sleuth away until we find the magic pill. I just booked a week in New Hampshire. Grabbed a vacation rental duplex a block from the beach in Hampton Beach. We can bring the dog.
Looking forward to it. LOVE NH. Liv was just offered a job coaching cheerleading for little girls. It is going to be a CRAZY fall as she is consumed with her own cheerleading practices for high school cheerleading and then these practices for her job, then 2 football games to cheer/coach at every weekend. We will be running like crazy from mid August to the end of Nov. But, this kid needs to learn responsibility and I think this is a good opportunity for that. Anyway, that's the latest. Oh and MM, carfilzomib was approved!!!! SO glad about that. Now, scientists, please get to that one that is going to CURE everyone with MM. Please, we are losing such wonderful people to this damned disease. WE NEED THE CURE!

Happy summer y'all.

Vacation?

Well, I'm still here. Just got back from Cape May today, and had some computer issues before I left, hence the lack of posts. I am recovered from the ablation, physically at least. It's been a tricky few weeks in other ways. I had a couple of weird, fainty episodes, and am hoping that doesn't become a habit. I went back on BP meds while on vacation. For some reason, my BP was really high and it could not wait until my next doctor appt. where I hoped to get a more tolerable med, since I've had a few reactions to this one. This 4th of July week in Cape May is always something we look forward to. We go with my parents. This past week came with some wrinkles, though. Reality follows you where ever you go.
My mom's memory is getting worse. It's always sad to see as things slip further from her but I had a very painful interaction with her, the first night we were there. It seems that she forgot that Tim isn't cured, and still has MM. She burst into tears and it was like seeing a child cry. She had to go into her hotel room to collect herself before Olivia saw her(thank goodness she was engrossed in her IPOD and had the earplugs in.) My dad and Tim were just pulling into the parking lot with dinner from a take-out place. She collected herself but her eyes were bloodshot through dinner and she could barely look at Tim the whole time. VERY upsetting and not a scene I will probably ever see erased from my memory. Then, the next morning, before Tim and my dad hit the golf course, Tim told me that his PN in his feet seems to have returned the last few weeks. He said he's had numbness and that "fallen asleep" feeling for awhile now. I intend to look up those Dana Farber supplements  and get him on them. What else can I do? SO, the 6-day trip started off with a whole lot of sad. I did my best to recover and make the best of it but my mom is shrinking her world. She did not make it to the beach even once. She is afraid of having an asthma attack. I had no idea that last year's trip was going to be the end of an era for us with this vacation. Things change. Nothing to be done but roll with it. I have learned to "let go" more and this is what I attribute my better handling of stress these days to. Even with my ablation, I thought, if it's God's plan to take me outta this world, not a lot I can do about it.

Life is not easy and getting old definitely ain't for sissies. I feel awful for my mom. This was her worst nightmare. But, we just have to deal with it the best we can. Some days, it gets really hard to find those silver linings and blessings. Too much tough stuff going down these days. I feel like I am forever picking myself up, dusting myself off, and trudging on. But, I will. Got too much to do to get all bogged down in it. Here's hoping the rest of the summer has some good times in store. I sure could use some.