Well today was a bit scary for this mom. We went to my nephew's 21st birthday party about an
hour and a half away. My 18 year-old niece had a "zipline" strapped between two trees
and she was tightrope walking on it. Others tried but she seemed to be the only one that
could do it. I knew that my daughter would not try because I'm sure she knew my answer would be NO WAY! if she asked. Well, she decided to kick her soccer ball around and didn't realize the
line was strung beyond the first tree to another and she ran right into it "clotheslining" herself
and falling backwards very fast landing on her back and head on packed dirt, rocks and roots.
I was not there. I was up the hill by the house and Tim came up with her looking at me with
real worry on his face. Olivia was dazed and hurt. I ran to get ice. She gets very quiet when
she is embaressed and trying not to cry and it made me a bit nervous cause she seemed confused but she was just really trying not to cry and feeling really panicky. She got a
stomach-ache but lately she gets stomach aches every time she is nervous and she was on
dramamine from the ride up so she was already a bit groggy. Now I'm trying to figure out if
this kid needs to have her head checked out or what. Is she having concussion symptoms or not?
They said they heard the thump when she hit. JUST great! I hate when things like this happen and we're not home. Luckily, one of the guests was an EMT and saw the whole thing. He got to
her before Tim even did. And even though the hospital there is not nearly as close as my hospital
is to our house, my sister just happens to be an emergency room nurse in the hospital out there
so with any luck, she would have been working if we had to go. (It's pretty amazing the first class
treatment you get when you're related to a hospital employee.) Liv's pupils were not dilated
and she came around eventually running around with a little dog and behaving just fine. Her head hurt for awhile but
stopped. Boy I tell ya, the things that run through your mind. Everyone started talking about famous people who died skiing and such from taking shots to the head(HELLOOOOO, let's find another subject folks!!!) This was the first time she has ever hit her head like that. Well, except when she climbed out of her crib at 20 months old and fell head first on the wood floor. I'm glad I didn't see this today 'cause Tim did and he is usually a VERY calm, laid back type but I could tell he was a bit shook up and it really bothered him to see her get hurt like that. It happened so fast and there was no stopping it. Ya know, yesterday I was worried because she was taking a
horseback riding lesson and our other niece just broke her foot the day before scaling a fence.
I try not to be supersticious but you know that thing about threes? Then my kid almost gets knocked out narrowly escaping a trip to the ER kicking a soccer ball. Go figure.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
UGH, the life of a landlord
Well I guess I should be grateful that I have had a somewhat smooth run with our 2-family house after the nightmarish 2008 we had, and I am. Unfortunately, things are now doing a slow burn between our 2 tenants with little ol' me being put in the middle. I can't not get involved as
the downstairs guy is blasting his music and speakers on his bigscreen TV so loud that my
upstairs gal can't hear herself think and her dog is cowering in the corner. Considering the dude works for the National Hockey League doing the jumbotron stuff, I guess he's got a pretty substantial audio-visual system hooked up there. It's a breach of his lease though to cause a noise disturbance to tenants or neighbors and I would hate to lose the best tenant we have ever had(the upstairs gal) because of this pompous whacko. The sad part is he keeps the place ridiculously clean(a sure sign of psychosis) and although it's always a few days late, he pays the rent. But he is a real jerk and we are thinking of not renewing his lease in Dec. There comes a time when you realize you don't want to be putting a roof over someone's head when they are that much of a heel. Hopefully he will leave quietly and we can find a good renter but it's really hard nowadays. Many folks looking now have lost other places for financial reasons in this awful economy we have had for so long and if I had any idea there were very few honest people left in these parts, I never would have gotten back in the landlord biz.
People look you right in the eye and lie like the devil
and then the truth comes out after they move in. I hate the thought of selling this place now.
The market is down and although we would get our equity out of it, I don't think we would even break even profit-wise but sometimes what this stress does to
our quaility of life and my already high blood pressure is hardly worth it. I have learned not to take tenant issues personally. We have never had a tenant leave our apartments by choice and
they have never had problems with us. They have either had job losses, relocations, or whatever but I have learned that when people are forced to move out of a place they love because they fell on hard times or were forced into a job relocation, they take it out on whoever is around and a few times, that has been us. People always seem to need someone to take their anger out on. On one hand, I don't feel like letting idjits like this ruin my financial plan but on the other, our life has changed and living for that far in the future when this house will be making us money or financing our retirement seems not to be in line with our need to live life now.
So I'll take it one day at a time. If he doesn't improve, we'll toss him. I'd rather carry that part of
the mortgage than put up with him. In his snotty e-mail today, it seems he was banking on the fact that I would not want to risk losing him 'cause his rent is the higher one making him the more valuable tenant. Basically told me that I should be doing everything I can to keep HIM happy. I assured him that he was mistaken about him being the more valuable tenant. The ego on this guy is just huge. He really thinks he's "all that". Advice of the day for what it's worth: don't buy rental property!!!! Note to self: start listening to your own advice.
the downstairs guy is blasting his music and speakers on his bigscreen TV so loud that my
upstairs gal can't hear herself think and her dog is cowering in the corner. Considering the dude works for the National Hockey League doing the jumbotron stuff, I guess he's got a pretty substantial audio-visual system hooked up there. It's a breach of his lease though to cause a noise disturbance to tenants or neighbors and I would hate to lose the best tenant we have ever had(the upstairs gal) because of this pompous whacko. The sad part is he keeps the place ridiculously clean(a sure sign of psychosis) and although it's always a few days late, he pays the rent. But he is a real jerk and we are thinking of not renewing his lease in Dec. There comes a time when you realize you don't want to be putting a roof over someone's head when they are that much of a heel. Hopefully he will leave quietly and we can find a good renter but it's really hard nowadays. Many folks looking now have lost other places for financial reasons in this awful economy we have had for so long and if I had any idea there were very few honest people left in these parts, I never would have gotten back in the landlord biz.
People look you right in the eye and lie like the devil
and then the truth comes out after they move in. I hate the thought of selling this place now.
The market is down and although we would get our equity out of it, I don't think we would even break even profit-wise but sometimes what this stress does to
our quaility of life and my already high blood pressure is hardly worth it. I have learned not to take tenant issues personally. We have never had a tenant leave our apartments by choice and
they have never had problems with us. They have either had job losses, relocations, or whatever but I have learned that when people are forced to move out of a place they love because they fell on hard times or were forced into a job relocation, they take it out on whoever is around and a few times, that has been us. People always seem to need someone to take their anger out on. On one hand, I don't feel like letting idjits like this ruin my financial plan but on the other, our life has changed and living for that far in the future when this house will be making us money or financing our retirement seems not to be in line with our need to live life now.
So I'll take it one day at a time. If he doesn't improve, we'll toss him. I'd rather carry that part of
the mortgage than put up with him. In his snotty e-mail today, it seems he was banking on the fact that I would not want to risk losing him 'cause his rent is the higher one making him the more valuable tenant. Basically told me that I should be doing everything I can to keep HIM happy. I assured him that he was mistaken about him being the more valuable tenant. The ego on this guy is just huge. He really thinks he's "all that". Advice of the day for what it's worth: don't buy rental property!!!! Note to self: start listening to your own advice.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Missing Carol
Yesterday, I sent an e-mail to a couple we met at transplant who summer in PA and
snow bird in FL. I did not have a good feeling as the wife, Carol, who transplanted with Tim
almost 3 years ago, had not been responding to anything since she relapsed. She then fought
breast cancer on top of MM last year and that medical history meant that most or all clinical
trials would not accept her. Her husband e-mailed me right back to tell me she died 3
and a half weeks ago. I started to cry and had to stop right away 'cause Tim walked in. We
were on our way to drop Olivia at a sleepover and spend an evening with friends so I tried
to buck up. I have not told Tim yet. I am afraid to. Note:he does not use the computer much
at all and doesn't read this blog. I think it would be so scary to hear that someone who was in
the same spot you were less than 3 years ago is now gone but I suppose it could be pretty patronizing not to tell him either. I feel so blessed to have met this warm and friendly couple,
as well as another couple we are still friends with, at transplant. It is such a hard time and we
were so lucky to have these folks there with us. You could see how close this couple was and Carol always had a big, warm smile on her face through everything and never complained.
I got together with her last year before they went to their house in FL. We met at the doc's
office on a day she was in for an appt. and we had lunch. She was a beautiful woman and looked
great. I'm so glad I got to see her then and spend a nice afternoon with her. Her husband actually wrote that even though it was hard, he could not have scripted a more peaceful ending for her. She was not in pain at all, was peaceful, and surrounded by her sisters and close friends.
I suppose that is a real comfort and he also used a phrase that Tim has used all the time since dx. He said, "you have to play the cards you're dealt." Reality sucks sometimes but there's just no changing it. I am so sad about this news. This was a fine woman who had not enjoyed enough years of her retirement yet before being hit by MM. I wrote a response to someone on the ACOR myeloma listserve who ended his post with the phrase, "getting old sucks." Not that
I thought this guy needed a lecture 'cause he's a great guy, it seems, but I reminded him that
it sure beats the alternative. I know that getting old ain't for sissies but sometimes you have
to remember that not everyone is blessed with the chance to get old. And some people have
not avoided serious health problems until they were some ripe, old age. I can remember dreading birthdays as I got past 28 and now I'm just grateful I made another year. When I
hear of someone dying now who is 80 or above, or even 70's, I think to myself, what a blessing.
To see your kids grow into the people they were meant to be. To know grandchildren. Now that people wait longer to have children, we are seeing the last of the generations that will see their grandchildren become adults. I look at people who have that situation and wonder if they ever stop to think how lucky they really are.
When I married Tim, I signed on for the long haul. The boy keeps getting better with age and I really want to get old and (well I'm already gray) with him. I wish my friends Carol and George
had more time together. 60's isn't that old. Everything is relative though. There are lots of really young MM'ers out there who want to get old and get to judge for themselves whether it sucks or not and I hope these researchers can make
that happen. We will never forget you Carol. You are a special lady and we were blessed to know you and George.
snow bird in FL. I did not have a good feeling as the wife, Carol, who transplanted with Tim
almost 3 years ago, had not been responding to anything since she relapsed. She then fought
breast cancer on top of MM last year and that medical history meant that most or all clinical
trials would not accept her. Her husband e-mailed me right back to tell me she died 3
and a half weeks ago. I started to cry and had to stop right away 'cause Tim walked in. We
were on our way to drop Olivia at a sleepover and spend an evening with friends so I tried
to buck up. I have not told Tim yet. I am afraid to. Note:he does not use the computer much
at all and doesn't read this blog. I think it would be so scary to hear that someone who was in
the same spot you were less than 3 years ago is now gone but I suppose it could be pretty patronizing not to tell him either. I feel so blessed to have met this warm and friendly couple,
as well as another couple we are still friends with, at transplant. It is such a hard time and we
were so lucky to have these folks there with us. You could see how close this couple was and Carol always had a big, warm smile on her face through everything and never complained.
I got together with her last year before they went to their house in FL. We met at the doc's
office on a day she was in for an appt. and we had lunch. She was a beautiful woman and looked
great. I'm so glad I got to see her then and spend a nice afternoon with her. Her husband actually wrote that even though it was hard, he could not have scripted a more peaceful ending for her. She was not in pain at all, was peaceful, and surrounded by her sisters and close friends.
I suppose that is a real comfort and he also used a phrase that Tim has used all the time since dx. He said, "you have to play the cards you're dealt." Reality sucks sometimes but there's just no changing it. I am so sad about this news. This was a fine woman who had not enjoyed enough years of her retirement yet before being hit by MM. I wrote a response to someone on the ACOR myeloma listserve who ended his post with the phrase, "getting old sucks." Not that
I thought this guy needed a lecture 'cause he's a great guy, it seems, but I reminded him that
it sure beats the alternative. I know that getting old ain't for sissies but sometimes you have
to remember that not everyone is blessed with the chance to get old. And some people have
not avoided serious health problems until they were some ripe, old age. I can remember dreading birthdays as I got past 28 and now I'm just grateful I made another year. When I
hear of someone dying now who is 80 or above, or even 70's, I think to myself, what a blessing.
To see your kids grow into the people they were meant to be. To know grandchildren. Now that people wait longer to have children, we are seeing the last of the generations that will see their grandchildren become adults. I look at people who have that situation and wonder if they ever stop to think how lucky they really are.
When I married Tim, I signed on for the long haul. The boy keeps getting better with age and I really want to get old and (well I'm already gray) with him. I wish my friends Carol and George
had more time together. 60's isn't that old. Everything is relative though. There are lots of really young MM'ers out there who want to get old and get to judge for themselves whether it sucks or not and I hope these researchers can make
that happen. We will never forget you Carol. You are a special lady and we were blessed to know you and George.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Vacation: The good, the bad, and the ugly
We just got back from vacation. Overall, it was great. We spent half of it in Cape May with my parents and the
other half at Chincoteague Island. We just can't get enough of those wild horses. Saw a ton of this spring's
new foals and would have given anything to take one or two home. It occurred to me that it would save me having to mow two lawns every week but would replace it with a much less desirable chore. I'm not sure I have a shovel big enough anyway. The good is that we had pretty great weather and a great time. It was hot but we always had an ocean breeze and only had one day of off and on
rain out of 9 days. Can't beat that when you consider that I used to bring rain to every vacation I went on for years. These are 2 great vacation spots for families. The bad was that Olivia got sick
on the second night when we went out to dinner. Something she ate did not agree with her and she wound up in
a public restroom with the runs and almost vomiting. Some snotnose Jersey girl was hassling us
'cause she was cleaning the restroom to close it and was aggravated that we would not leave.
YES, can you believe that?!!! My kid is having diarrhea and hanging her head over a trash can while this brat started cleaning the bathroom before it was closing time to get it over with faster and a minute after 10 she is ticked that I won't drag my kid off the toilet and put her in the car for a 10 minute ride to the hotel. Our truck came equipped with a lot of things but not a bathroom! Then she says, "ya know, I have to get home to my daughter too." Funny, she didn't look old enough to have a kid but never mind. I shot her my most threatening "DON'T MESS WITH A MOM WITH A SICK KID" look and said in my own
Jersey girl tone, "And just what would you like me to do?!!! She is going to the bathroom right now!!!!" She shut up. Boy it's amazing what 100 miles further south does in attitude changes.
Virginia is part of "the south" , at least to me anyway, and folks there could not be nicer. Then back at the hotel a few days later(still in Cape May), some guy lets his boys play soccer in the parking lot. Grass field just 80 feet away but they're kicking the ball right where everyone's cars are, 'cept their own of course. I go out to find they hit our new truck and scratched it. I went over to their room and gave them a little what for. Told the father his kids just scratched a 40 thousand dollar truck and letting them play soccer next to everyone's cars was unacceptable. I don't think I'll ever buy a brand new car again. People have no respect. It was dented in a parking lot by someone opening a door into it within 7 weeks and now this.
So the last bad thing was that I fainted the day before we left VA to come home. As some of you may know, I have a weird kind of thing that causes me to black out sometimes but I have gotten much better and the only times in my life that I have ever actually fainted, there were mitigating circumstances. This one really threw me. All I did was get out of the truck at a tourist
spot and took 2 steps and there went my hearing and my vision started to black out. I stumbled
back to the truck and put my hands out and aimed my head for my car seat so I did not get hurt.
Tim was still in the driver seat. I told him I was going out and out I went. It was only for a second but when I woke up and looked up, all I could think is "please tell me that did not just happen." Having been agoraphobic for half my life, I can't tell you how hard it is to try to live a
normal, somewhat fear-free life when you know something like this can happen at any time. I have blacked out many times in my life but I usually come out of it before I lose conciousness.
This time, I went all the way out and it was not fun. This is why my cardiologist wants to avoid
putting me on blood pressure medicine. Where most folks can get a little woozy from standing up
too fast and I have indeed had that many times along with a "gray out" at times, a "normal" person will not faint from it. I don't know what else could have caused it but a sudden blood pressure drop but I should not have fainted like that from just that one cause. Anyhoo, onward.
I can't let something that may never happen again freak me out of living again. As for the ugly
part of our vacation, well.............all I can say is that people really need to check their rear view
sometimes and ask themselves if everyone within eye shot wants to see that. I am tempted to
carry around a gallon of butt crack spackle with me at all times now. I must say it embaresses the heck out of our 12 year old daughter to see mens' cracks and as for me, I try to look away as fast as possible before the vision burns into my gray matter but really guys, pull up your britches, will ya! Not all of your butts are ready for prime-time if you get my drift. ;o)
It's been a week of ponies, beaches, warm ocean waves, and WAYYYYY too many exposed fannies. Oh and one more really good thing. I had "met" a woman via e-mail on the ACOR myeloma list and we got together with her and her husband for a short visit at their home in Cape May. What nice folks. Just more proof that MM is very selective and only picks great folks. She recently went from MGUS to smoldering. We had a brief but nice visit and then miraculously, we ran into them near a restaurant just a few hours later and they got to meet
our daughter(we left her with Grandma and Papa earlier to avoid talking MM in front of her).
Kinda crazy as we were just stopping for 2 minutes and to run into them at that exact spot at
the same time was really funny. It's a big town with lots of people. We talked about how we'd love to get a big get-together planned for MM'ers and their families and caregivers sometime. I bet if we found a central location, we'd get a lot of folks simply from living in this populated tri-state area we're in. I think it would be cool.
other half at Chincoteague Island. We just can't get enough of those wild horses. Saw a ton of this spring's
new foals and would have given anything to take one or two home. It occurred to me that it would save me having to mow two lawns every week but would replace it with a much less desirable chore. I'm not sure I have a shovel big enough anyway. The good is that we had pretty great weather and a great time. It was hot but we always had an ocean breeze and only had one day of off and on
rain out of 9 days. Can't beat that when you consider that I used to bring rain to every vacation I went on for years. These are 2 great vacation spots for families. The bad was that Olivia got sick
on the second night when we went out to dinner. Something she ate did not agree with her and she wound up in
a public restroom with the runs and almost vomiting. Some snotnose Jersey girl was hassling us
'cause she was cleaning the restroom to close it and was aggravated that we would not leave.
YES, can you believe that?!!! My kid is having diarrhea and hanging her head over a trash can while this brat started cleaning the bathroom before it was closing time to get it over with faster and a minute after 10 she is ticked that I won't drag my kid off the toilet and put her in the car for a 10 minute ride to the hotel. Our truck came equipped with a lot of things but not a bathroom! Then she says, "ya know, I have to get home to my daughter too." Funny, she didn't look old enough to have a kid but never mind. I shot her my most threatening "DON'T MESS WITH A MOM WITH A SICK KID" look and said in my own
Jersey girl tone, "And just what would you like me to do?!!! She is going to the bathroom right now!!!!" She shut up. Boy it's amazing what 100 miles further south does in attitude changes.
Virginia is part of "the south" , at least to me anyway, and folks there could not be nicer. Then back at the hotel a few days later(still in Cape May), some guy lets his boys play soccer in the parking lot. Grass field just 80 feet away but they're kicking the ball right where everyone's cars are, 'cept their own of course. I go out to find they hit our new truck and scratched it. I went over to their room and gave them a little what for. Told the father his kids just scratched a 40 thousand dollar truck and letting them play soccer next to everyone's cars was unacceptable. I don't think I'll ever buy a brand new car again. People have no respect. It was dented in a parking lot by someone opening a door into it within 7 weeks and now this.
So the last bad thing was that I fainted the day before we left VA to come home. As some of you may know, I have a weird kind of thing that causes me to black out sometimes but I have gotten much better and the only times in my life that I have ever actually fainted, there were mitigating circumstances. This one really threw me. All I did was get out of the truck at a tourist
spot and took 2 steps and there went my hearing and my vision started to black out. I stumbled
back to the truck and put my hands out and aimed my head for my car seat so I did not get hurt.
Tim was still in the driver seat. I told him I was going out and out I went. It was only for a second but when I woke up and looked up, all I could think is "please tell me that did not just happen." Having been agoraphobic for half my life, I can't tell you how hard it is to try to live a
normal, somewhat fear-free life when you know something like this can happen at any time. I have blacked out many times in my life but I usually come out of it before I lose conciousness.
This time, I went all the way out and it was not fun. This is why my cardiologist wants to avoid
putting me on blood pressure medicine. Where most folks can get a little woozy from standing up
too fast and I have indeed had that many times along with a "gray out" at times, a "normal" person will not faint from it. I don't know what else could have caused it but a sudden blood pressure drop but I should not have fainted like that from just that one cause. Anyhoo, onward.
I can't let something that may never happen again freak me out of living again. As for the ugly
part of our vacation, well.............all I can say is that people really need to check their rear view
sometimes and ask themselves if everyone within eye shot wants to see that. I am tempted to
carry around a gallon of butt crack spackle with me at all times now. I must say it embaresses the heck out of our 12 year old daughter to see mens' cracks and as for me, I try to look away as fast as possible before the vision burns into my gray matter but really guys, pull up your britches, will ya! Not all of your butts are ready for prime-time if you get my drift. ;o)
It's been a week of ponies, beaches, warm ocean waves, and WAYYYYY too many exposed fannies. Oh and one more really good thing. I had "met" a woman via e-mail on the ACOR myeloma list and we got together with her and her husband for a short visit at their home in Cape May. What nice folks. Just more proof that MM is very selective and only picks great folks. She recently went from MGUS to smoldering. We had a brief but nice visit and then miraculously, we ran into them near a restaurant just a few hours later and they got to meet
our daughter(we left her with Grandma and Papa earlier to avoid talking MM in front of her).
Kinda crazy as we were just stopping for 2 minutes and to run into them at that exact spot at
the same time was really funny. It's a big town with lots of people. We talked about how we'd love to get a big get-together planned for MM'ers and their families and caregivers sometime. I bet if we found a central location, we'd get a lot of folks simply from living in this populated tri-state area we're in. I think it would be cool.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
