Milestones

This month has us seeing some milestones that I have dreaded for years. Yesterday, our daughter was driving a car. She had her first driving lesson. Back in the day, we didn't get our permits until we were 16 1/2. Now, they get them at 16, but, they have conditional licenses when they are 17, which we never had. Either way, these kids seem like babies to us. We live in a very (read: OVER) populated area in New Jersey. It's wall-to-wall cars and traffic here and everyone is in a hurry and either talking or texting on a cell phone too. No one uses blinkers anymore, they are steering with one hand and holding their phone with the other. If I was a cop, I'd write people for using cell phones ALL DAY LONG. No warnings, ticket city, baby. 4 years ago, a teenage girl almost mowed me down while I was crossing a street she turned onto while texting. I am STRONGLY against it all. Anyway, I have dreaded my kid driving a car since before I even had a kid. And, the older I get, the more horror stories I've heard, and the more nervous I get. I have decided that she is not driving with her friends right after they get their licenses. So many kids get in accidents in those first few months. I don't need my kid in the car with them for that. This may sound extreme, but, one more tragedy in my life and it's gonna put me over the edge. To say I feel jinxed after the life I've lived, would be an understatement. Plus, I drive to the high school and see these kids cut people off and have all these near misses or accidents even. The first day I had my new-to-me Volvo, a high school kid pulled right out of a side street without seeing me and almost caused us to crash. It was a close call. I bought this Volvo for Liv. Volvo designs their cars purposely to protect the occupants in the event of a crash. But, her friends won't be driving Volvos. Nope, I am a stay-at-home mom for many reasons and one of them is so that I can drive my kid safely wherever she has to go. Thursday and Friday will be her final 2 lessons and then, I have to summon the courage to start letting her drive me around this crazy place. I've always said that THIS is when I will start drinking alcohol, or move to Minnesota, or both. OY! I am so nervous about all this, but I know I have to give her as much experience and pointers that I can before she turns 17 and it's outta my hands. I don't know if I've written this on this blog already, but my younger sister knows a woman whose 14 year old son died being in the car with his 17 year old friend, on a highway right near here. The woman in my bank just told me her nephew crashed his car the first day he had his license and he and his friend died because it burst into flames and they couldn't get out. UGH, I needed to hear that story this past week like I needed a hole in my head. I am going to be doing a whole lot of praying about this. Call me overprotective all ya want, but, you cannot turn back the clock. My nieces and nephews all got in accidents too. Statistics don't lie and the statistics for inexperienced drivers are hair-raising, to say the least.

The second milestone is that Liv is going on vacation without us. She will spend a week in LBI with our friends to hang out with their daughter. Another OY. This will be the first time she is really away from us. I am not looking forward to it at all. Oh, I've gotten used to the sleepovers and the fact that she is out a lot with friends. And, during sports seasons, I drop her off at school at 8 am and don't see her until 6 pm. BUT, this is a whole week away, 8 days really. No one sleeping in her bed at night. I know this is good for her. I want her to be independent and she is not the least bit concerned about being away from us, which I am VERY glad about, but, I will miss her terribly.

So, the kid is growing up. I strongly wished yesterday that she was four again. As with so many things in life, you don't feel ready for them, but, they happen anyway.  I'm proud, glad, and petrified all at the same time. This pic of her and Tim was taken in Cape May last week on top of the lighthouse and YES, yours truly hauled her asthmatic, back-injury plagued, out-of-shape, vertigo and claustrophobia toting butt up 188 stairs too. There's our little girl, reaching new heights. I spose I should post the other picture that shows she's reached a higher height than her mom. Just a sec..... There ya go. Yep, she's taller, but I'm still the boss!!!  ;o)

Cape May

I have been coming to Cape May in the summers since I was a kid. This is the 15th year that we have come to this particular motel with my parents for the 4th of July. We started when Liv was 2. Last year was a horrific trip, with my mom passing out and vomiting while unconscious and winding up in the hospital. Her memory continues to get worse and my father continues to put off retiring, or stepping up to do what's necessary to help her. It is really frustrating. Yesterday, we had rain here. My sister, Cathy, went to Walmart with my parents. She told my father to stay with my mother while she went to buy what she came for. My father, AGAIN, walked away from her and my mom started walking around looking for them and got lost. It was a huge store and it took a while for my sister and father to find my mom. My sister was furious at him and he knew it. It is very hard to deal with this. Tim and I have been doing the "in sickness and in health" thing pretty much our whole relationship. My parents were lucky enough not to have to deal with that until their kids were all grown and they even have adult grandkids now. Still, my father refuses to do what he should be doing and puts on a martyr act for us as to how much he has to deal with. He rolls his eyes and is impatient with her. It's infuriating. SUCK IT UP, Dad. If it were you who was losing your faculties, she'd be taking care of you, without a complaint to be heard.

We have a lot of great memories of this place. We all love Cape May. Things are very different now though, and it's hard not to miss how things once were. My mother used to love the beach. She won't go now, just stays by the pool at the motel. We have to watch her all the time as she will see something and just mosey over there without letting anyone know. One minute she was with us as we walked an outdoor shopping mall, the next minute, she was gone, we found her in the Fudge shop. 15 years ago, we were watching a 2 year old like a hawk in the crowds, now, we're watching my 72 year old mom. Life is hard. And how do we get our father to retire and step up to the plate and do what's right here, without it causing a confrontation? He doesn't want to do it. He can, he is not incapable. He just doesn't want to. Very selfish. OY. Lotsa changes going on, many of them are not the good kind. :o(

Last night, we ran into a family that we used to spend a lot of time with here. We travelled with them for years, (both of our families had trailers.) They have retired now and own a house here, as well as in Florida and they still own their house in northwestern NJ. They spend 4 months at each place. We have not seen them in years and it was great to see them. They have hardly changed, are obviously quite comfortable financially, and enjoying their retirement. The differences were hard for me to see. My parents have changed a whole lot, and their retirement years do not look nearly as rosy. Gotta make the best of it, I suppose. What else can ya do?