Back in the New York-ish groove

Just got in from Florida last night. Boy, do I hate air travel. Firstly, not fond of flying to begin
with, but, what a hassle it all is. After missing a turn, getting lost, and then stuck in traffic, worried we might miss our plane, our flight last Thursday was delayed about an hour going down, and yesterday's was delayed 2 hours. We got to the airport early yesterday, not knowing how long the drive from Tim's uncle's place in Key Largo would take exactly, and didn't take off until 5 hours later. GRRRR.
BUT, am glad to have had safe flights and 10- 11 hours of hassle for 2 days sure beats 6  LONG days in the car, and checking in and out of 4 hotels, which is what we would've faced going down and back.  Oh and a word of caution, if you don't care to be felt up by someone after your metal scan, don't wear a blouse with "jewels" or sparkly things on it. Lesson learned. Woman told me she would have to pat me down in that area (see if I was smuggling a weapon in my bra, AS IF
a weapon would fit in this little thang!) I said, "have a party." I really didn't care but then she moved
toward my 15 y-o daughter when she came out of the scanner and this momma bear closed in. She glanced at the jewelry on her wrists and waived her by. Touching my kid like that woulda been a WHOLE other story and not something I woulda gone for without REAL good reason.

Anyhoo, we had a great trip. Our employee, who is like family to us, got married on the beach in
Fort Lauderdale, which was the reason for our trip. Very sweet but wow, all that work and planning
and it was over in 10 minutes. We partied on the terraces of the Harbor Beach Marriot. Nice place.
We stayed in Fort L. until Sunday and then went down to see Tim's Uncle Dave in Key Largo. Tim
and Liv swam with dolphins.They wanted to do this last time we were there in 2008, but the place was booked, so I made reservations in advance this time. Not much to do but relax and visit in Key Largo. Unless you're a boater, fisher, or diver, there's not a lot of other options there, but we were
there to see his uncle anyway. It was a teary good-bye yesterday. Love that man. He's "good people."

Tim and I have busy times ahead for us, and had a real busy spring leading up to it, so this was a great break from that. They have this thing called "Keys time" which is the slower pace things move
at in the Florida Keys and wow, do I get that, almost feel like my watch can't possibly work in
both places.

Our first, "can't get away from cancer moment" went like this, on the plane going down last Thursday.
There are 3 young kids sitting in front of us. A boy, the oldest, maybe 10 or 11, and his 2 younger sisters. Their mom is sitting across the aisle. They are watching the same thing on the TV. Youngest girl, maybe 4 or 5 says to her brother: "What's wrong with her?"

Bro: "she's sick."
Sis: "with what?"
Bro: "a disease."
Sis: "What kind of disease?"
Bro: "Cancer."
Sis: "What's cancer?"
Bro: "SHHH." He's trying to listen to the program and she won't stop talking.
Sis: "What is cancer?"
Bro: annoyed now. "It's nothing!!! I'll tell ya later."

Me, behind them, thinking, "well, kid, you got that part wrong, it certainly ain't nothing. Not from where I'm sitting. Man, we just can't get away from it, can we?" Unfortunately, it was just the first of many "cancer reminders." What can ya do? It's everywhere. Tim's uncle's wife, Carol, was not there this time, as she succumbed to ovarian cancer 2 summers ago. She and Tim were both on chemo when we visited back in '08.

But, we had a good trip, nonetheless. Tim loves any place there's a beach and Liv loves Florida and is threatening to move there now, or at least go to college there. I used to work for a woman whose daughter, also an only child, went to college there and liked Florida so much, she got a job after school and never came back home. UGH. I always wondered if my ex-boss and her husband ever moved there. When you have an only child, if you wanna be a part of their life, moving to the same area is always an option, I know some who've done that. I couldn't deal with the heat and the bugs. I don't really think Liv could either, but, if that's what she wants..................well TOUGH, she ain't getting it!!! Just kidding.

Oh well, back to the huge list of "apres holiday" chores. I'll see if I can figure out how to post some pics on here.

Latest appt.

Yesterday was Tim's 3 month check-up. This one was to set the tone for our summer, as well as our employee's wedding, which we are flying to Fort Lauderdale for in a month. Well, it was not what I wanted, but kinda what I expected. His Kappa number had been slowly creeping up, though still in the normal range. In Jan, it was 18+ with a the range ending at 19.4. This time it was out of range at 26+. His m-spike went from .15 to .20. IGG still in normal range but up a bit too. I, of course, am thinking relapse. His doctor says that the shingles infection raised all his immunoglobulins and so the bad will bump up with the good. He is not concerned. The Kappa/Lambda ratio actually is still in range but, I dunno, to me, it can't be good when your Kappas go out of range. As I've said before, I've been told that that is the first sign of relapse. The doctor describes his numbers as moving "glacially slow." He still said 3 months is fine for next appt. and said don't worry. Not really an option for me, but, nothing to be done about it anyway. What I do have to do though is kick myself in the arse and get moving and caught up around my house. Still haven't done a lot of things I said I was gonna do these last few years. Feel stuck in a rut. I have to get more organized because searching for important papers and such will not be easy when/if Tim goes back on treatment and I am in full caregiver mode again.

On other news, Liv is in the middle of her softball season. It has been an eye opening experience. My brother-in-law warned me that high school sports would not be as fun as recreation league sports. Boy, was he right. I thought the guy who ran the softball program seemed so nice. He's not. He tries to be charming, but, on the field, he's a different guy. We've lost girls from the program who quit because of him and some of the girls playing for the varsity team he heads up, can't stand him. His wife coaches JV and we have a freshman coach, a nice man I know well from church. They all have to follow the orders from this top guy though and the things he does are just wrong. We are not happy that our daughter is being "over-pitched" and being left as the only pitcher for both the freshman and JV team, while he takes 3 pitchers with him to every varsity game. OH, and he already took our good freshman catcher to varsity, leaving us with a bad one, that he will now take to all JV games played on the same day as freshman games so Liv will pitch for frosh(is the only freshman who can pitch) and will have a girl catching who has never done it before. Not only is this not fair, as he takes 3 catchers with him to his varsity games too, but this idiot is going to get someone hurt. You do not start a girl catching, at the high school level, who has never caught before, if you can help it. Liv does not throw super fast, but she does take lessons and throws 40+ mph and you also have a bat swinging in your face as you are catching that ball. We do not have enough girls, or pitching, for 3 teams. He shoulda combined the freshman and JV team. Anyway, with cancellations, we avoided Liv playing too many games this past week, but, if he tries to make her pitch 3 or 4 games in a 5 or 6 day stretch, I'm gonna have to put my foot down. It's too much on her arm, and too much pressure for a 14 y-o. Aside from one game, when she was exhausted, she has pitched great. She has a lot of strikeouts, as well as caught pop-ups and throw outs at bases. In 2 games, where she pitched 6 innings, she made 12 of the 18 outs. The other day, we played 3 innings in the rain. She struck out 6, and threw out 2, making 8 of the 9 outs herself. But, the poor kid wants to play other positions, is sick of just pitching. Only other girl who can pitch, albeit badly, was benched for going on a school trip, and now is out for medical reasons. I never relax when my kid is pitching. Would rather her play other positions too. Gotta just take things one day at a time.
Playing another JV game today with our freshman team, which just stinks, especially since we have 3 girls who never played ball before. OY! I hate this, but I'll be glad when we're thru this season, and I don't know if she'll want to continue these next few years after seeing how mean the head guy is. I don't want her pitching for him at the varsity level. He is awful to his girls. Can't stand coaches who can't leave their egos off the field and put the kids first. REALLY can't stand it.

Anyway, that's about it. Making vacation plans. May, wedding and vacation in Florida. July will see us at our yearly trek to Cape May, with my sister Cathy and her family coming too this year, which will be a treat. Then, it looks like we will not be going to VT or NH this August, but back to Chincoteague instead. Tim just loves that place now. I'm surprised. There is NO night life and it's just a small little community with not much going on, but, give that boy a beach and he's happy.

Life's a beach!  ;o)

Happy Spring!

The next time I see that Easter Bunny...............

I'm gonna get him in my cross-hares and shoot the sumbitch. Well, again, Easter bad luck rears its ugly head. As a kid, I hated this holiday because we always got the stomach flu around that time.
In 2008, Tim got a horrible stomach bug for Easter. This year, he went to the hospital Easter Sunday with a bad case of disseminated shingles, which is fancy talk for shingles that went systemic, so it's like having the shingles and the chicken pox version of the virus at the same time. As Tim would say, "go big or go home."  I saw
a bright red patch on the back of his leg Sat. We had our niece's(and Goddaughter's) communion service that night. When Tim got dressed for bed, he had blemishes on his body and I gave him an acyclovir pill from the old stash just in case. By morning, I knew. Off to the ER cause doc's aren't open on Easter Sunday. They transferred him via ambulance to the main campus where his onc's are
and he was put on an acyclovir drip. They had no private rooms open in the entire hospital(he was in an isolation room of the ER 'cause it's contagious) and he was stuck in an expanded area of the ER since 3:30 Monday morning. NO private bathroom. He's sick and immunocompromised and he's using the same bathroom everyone in the ER is using. Walked thru a puddle of urine in his socks  Monday night.
There is no cell phone service in this ER. Half underground and they have one phone they let patients use for a short time. He got really sick Monday night. Bad headache and nausea. Tried to get them to let him use the phone for 3 hours to get me. They were not bringing him meds, delivered a cream that was ordered for him at noon at MIDNIGHT. Waiting hours for tylenol. I had only 4 hours sleep the night before and he called me at 12:15 Monday night ready to get up and walk out of the hospital. I jumped in the car and raced down there. Banged some heads, as diplomatically as possible. Called the on-call doc at the cancer center and said, "I want him in the ICU or something. He's at risk for encephelitis, has a headache and nausea, and they're not taking care of him in the ER and he's walking thru other people's urine to use a dirty, germ-filled bathroom. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
The doc tried but there was just no rooms in that hospital to be had. They are expanding, but not fast enough. I got him in an isolation room in the ER before I went back home at 3 am so he at least had his own bathroom. I think that was only because a patient died. UGH. They cleaned the room and then I went in there afterward with my antibacterial wipes and did it again. On Tuesday evening, they finally got him a room. It was the top floor, corner suite overlooking the NYC skyline and the runway for a small, local airport. It was a great room, best in the hospital, no doubt, crazy view, and the nurses were falling all over themselves to be nice to him. Monday night, he's ready to walk outta there, now, he didn't want to come home. Full menu to order whatever he wanted to eat. I mean, Jeez, he doesn't get this at home! On Wed. I went there to get him showered up. I thought, make him look good for when the infectious disease doc gets here and maybe he'll get sprung. Well, it worked, though I'm sure it was just that his lesions had all scabbed up. They released him and we had our daughter's first JV softball game to get to so they did the fastest discharge job ever. He spent 4 more days on high dose Valtrex and will now take 1-400mg. acyclovir pill for a very long time. It was a scary thing. I did a search on disseminated shingles and it can attack your organs, liver, lungs, brain. GREAT. It was an exhausting week, running back and forth to the hospital, getting Liv where she needed to be with school and softball, keeping the home fires burning and fielding business calls, etc.
Glad it's over. Tim feels OK but is very tired. He is VERY busy at work and this just jammed him up even more. He went to work on Friday, after resting up on Thurs. and doing phone calls, but it's exhausting for him. Like Lorna says, why can't we hit the lottery, so that we at least don't have to worry about money on top of worrying about MM. It's only fair, doncha think? So, that's the latest chapter in our MM journey. Not a pleasant one, but, I'm always saying, "it could be worse." I try to be grateful for the things that do go right. The medication worked, he recovered quickly, he seems to have no sign of post-herpatic neuralgia. Now, if our daughter doesn't come down with chicken pox in these next 3 weeks, I will be very grateful! And, if spring would just get here, maybe my mood will be better, cause us Jersey folk REALLY need to feel some sunshine and warmth around here.

You are who you hang around with

Yesterday, I went to our MM support group meeting. It's a small group. When we don't have speakers, it's very small (6-8 people). When we do have speakers, we can have 20 or more.
Yesterday's group was small. A policeman from a town near me did the race up the Empire State Building steps in NYC and raised money for the MMRF. He came and told us about his experience. Nice guy. Does not have a personal connection to MM, but his mom is fighting lung cancer, and his life was not going well(health was deteriorating and going through a divorce) and he decided to turn things around. Stopped smoking(he's an asthmatic, aren't we all in Jersey) and started working out and eating right. Dropped 40 pounds and got his bloodwork back to healthy levels. He is very excited to be taking on this cause of MM awareness and fundraising and is getting to know us, as well as our head nurse. Now, here's a guy who just wants to put good out into the world. Wants to make a difference. Then, a couple came to the meeting who normally doesn't come because the wife works part time. She wants to do an MM 5K in NJ. There is one in April in Philadelphia that I've never made it to, and one in CT. But Jersey is such a populated state, and we have so many MM'ers here.
She has MM and recently lost a friend, a man with MM who was an avid runner. She and his widow decided to take up this cause. Our group is in. We are going to try to get the first one up and running in time to
do it this fall. We will then make it an annual event. I got in my car to drive home yesterday and thought to myself how great I felt. What a pleasure it is to spend 90 minutes with such wonderful people. I mean, 3 of these women have cancer(the rest of us are spouses) and this guy just went through a disappointing divorce where his wife moved out of state with his little boy. And what are they doing with their lives? Giving back. Paying forward. Making a difference in the lives of OTHERS.
I silently chastised myself for spending far too much time with toxic people who began to rub off on me and made my life more difficult than it already was. I vowed that I won't make that mistake again. Once you get a bit older, realize life is short, and start meeting a better class of people, you realize that your life will reflect who it is you spend your time with. Choose wisely.

Valentines and angels among us

It's been a tough week or so. A rough patch with my Valentine, a bad economy that is not seeming
to ease. Lots of  other things to worry this already worrisome mind too. But, things always look darkest before
the dawn. Went to church yesterday for Ash Wednesday. It was a good sermon and it spoke words
I needed to hear. I came out rejuvenated and feeling my burden lighten just a bit. Then, I went to tai chi this morning. A few ladies I know from church go. It's very relaxing. I am the youngest one there,
but that never bothered me any. I love being around people older than me and here's one reason why. A recently widowed woman from church introduced me to her friend, Madeline. During the break, halfway through the class, Madeline and I wound up in a conversation that went from one subject to another. Eventually, she told me her daughter died of pancreatic cancer after suffering miserably for 2 years. Even later in the conversation, she told me
that her son had died in an accident at 22 and her husband died of a stroke, after spending 2 months in a coma, before her daughter died. (OK I know this is getting depressing, but it gets better).  I asked if she had any other children, she said no.(I don't know why my print changed and darned if I can figure how to change it back), Her daughter had been divorced when she got sick and lived with her with her 2 college aged children, so she saw her through this awful illness and then kept her grandkids with her after she passed. Awful. This woman's life was just one tragedy after another.

BUT, what a survivor. She told me she is 85. She looks incredible, takes care of herself, and is in great shape. She still cherishes her life, regardless of what happened. Heck, she still dyes her hair blonde, I'm guessing going for that "have more fun" thing. I told her about Tim, how he'd been diagnosed with cancer 6 years ago and that we have a 14 year-old. She said a lot of supportive things to me. She said that bad things happen but God gives us the strength to go on. She said you not only do it for you kids, you do it for yourself. She told me that when her son was killed she wanted to curl up and die, but she had a daughter to take care of and she eventually got on with living. She said she is still not planning to go anywhere for a long time, at least until her great-granddaughter is in school. Then she told me, as we were about to start the 2nd half of the class, "I don't want to be sick, I'd like to just go to sleep one night and not wake up," and with a wink as she got back into her spot to start the exercise, she said, "I think God owes me that."

AT the end of the class, our instructor wished us all a happy Valentine's day and reminded us to tell people we love them. Then she said, "tell everyone." So, some friends and some just aquaintences started telling each other that. I exchanged "I love yous" with 2 of my church buddies. Then Madeline sought me out, hugged me, told me she loved me and said something supportive to me that I can't even recall already, I was just so amazed by her. I replied in kind and told her I was so happy to have
met and talked to her today.

Ya know, some days, people seem to be put in your path for a reason. The human spirit can survive even the most horrible of tragedies. This woman told me that her faith sustained her. As I go through this hard time in my life, and deal with things that most 47 year-olds don't have to deal with, it inspires me to meet people like this. It gives me hope. It also humbles me, but most of all, it reminds me that you meet people all the time that teach you lessons. Some people hurt you and you learn from it, but, mercifully, God also sends you people who heal you. Madeline did that for me today.

Forgiveness

From Colossians 3:12-14
I believe these words are attributed to Paul.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these
virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Tim's friend, Ron, lost his dad 2 weeks ago. It was/is a very sad thing. He was only 73 and died in his sleep of a heart attack. What made it even worse is that noone was home with him. His wife, Ron's stepmother, was away on a trip. After several days of not being able to contact him, she called their daughter to go check on him. Very unfortunate circumstances, to be sure. She found him, after he'd been gone for 4 days.
Tim went to the wake last Monday, and I went with him to the funeral on Tuesday. The service was held in the Catholic church that I grew up in. I must say, the priest performed the absolute best sermon I have ever heard at a funeral. He did not know Ron's dad, who is from this area but has lived in Myrtle Beach, SC for years. He still did a fantastic job of comforting the family. He spoke of God's promise of eternal life and mentioned, and recommended, a book writtten by a woman, an orthopedic surgeon, who drowned on a canoe trip to Peru or somewhere and came back to life. I plan to read the book, (To heaven and back), but it is currently checked out of our library. He said that God expects us to TRY to be a good person. He emphasized try. He said we all fall short, but we have to try to do the right things, treat people the right way, and believe in Him and we are promised that we don't die. The priest prefers the term "pass on" instead of "pass away" because he said that Ron(Tim's friend is named after his dad) is not gone, though he may be away from us, he is still living. The above passage was read during this funeral service. I thought, "uh oh, this is that thing I have such a hard time with." Forgiveness- I guess a lot of us struggle with that. Tim had talked to Ronny privately the night before at the wake. Ron told him that he had had some real heart-to-heart talks with his dad just recently and his dad had been up to visit just 2 weeks prior and came with him to play darts one night at a men's club, his dad filling in for a guy who couldn't make it that night. He felt grateful, but also a bit spooked, that these things had just happened and then his dad dies unexpectedly. He also told Tim that he should try to patch things up with his family. Tim said, "Ron, I can appreciate how you feel, but this isn't just 1 or 2 things that happened here. It's been 20+ years  of bullsh*t going on. It's just not that easy." Ron understood. Near the end of the funeral service, Ron's half sister, who found her father, got up and did the prayers part where she would say what we were praying for and the people replied after each line. The last line she said was the only one she faltered on. She said, "for those who have been hurt by family" and then she broke down. The priest was nearby, ready to step in, but gave her a minute. She took a few deep breaths, tried again, had to take a few more, and squeaked her way through that last line. I don't remember the line exactly, but it was something to the effect of "may they be moved to forgiveness and healing." YIKES!!!! I don't know if there were issues between her and her dad or what, but she definitely lost it on that point. I thought that maybe I have to try  harder to soften my heart. I feel sorry for certain people in Tim's family. I consider that a form of forgiveness. They are very unhappy people. They will never be satisfied in life because they focus on the wrong things as far as what they think will make them happy. Material things, trying to out-do everyone around them. The problem with them is that they can't so they set about tearing everyone else down, in a "misery loves company" type of thing. Instead of improving their lives and working on their contentment with themselves, they'll just rip everyone else to pieces so they can feel better. I just don't know how you forgive people who set out to make everyone around them miserable AND don't stop. Tim's parents have lost countless friends over the years and now their son, and granddaughter, yet, I don't think any of them have changed their M.O's at all. I'm not sure they're even sorry for what they did and said. I think they're just mad that there were consequences and blaming me and Tim for not putting up with it anymore. My pastor said to me, shortly after this happened, that you can work on forgiveness but that doesn't mean you have to put yourself back out there to be mistreated again. He said there is nothing wrong with self-preservation. I personally believe self preservation is the most basic of instincts to all living creatures. So, how do you forgive people who are continuing to abuse you? who hurt your husband at the worst time of his life, who kicked our family when we were already down, repeatedly, and continue to behind our backs? The therapist I used to see is convinced that they consciously or sub-consciously took themselves out of our lives to  avoid the future pain that may be involved and to spare themselves of having their own lives negatively affected by our situation. How do you make room for people like that in your life when you're already dealing with so much hardship, and you know that they will continue to make things worse for you? I don't know. I just don't. I try to find some way to see that "they knew not what they did" but that's hard to convince myself of. They did, they really knew what would happen if they didn't stop doing what they were doing to me/us. They continued anyway, his father and sister-in-law most notably. The things that were said were said for no other reason than to hurt me as badly as they possibly could. Despite this being the worst time in my life too, there was not an ounce
of empathy in these people, not one iota, and that is just something that Tim and I cannot wrap our brains around. So, I will continue to work on being a forgiving person. I hope that God will see my heart and know how much I struggle and try. An important person in my life told me not long ago that I didn't have a mean bone in my body. I disagreed. This person knows all these players and what happened and when I mentioned that, this person said, "while you may have taken a stand against someone, it was always because you were being gentle to someone else." What they meant was I did it to protect my husband and daughter. As a wife, mom, and now caregiver, they HAVE to be my first priority. They are. So, FORGIVENESS, it's a tough one, probably the hardest thing us mere mortals are asked to do in this life. "Forgive as the Lord forgave you." I guess I'm hoping that God is a heckuva lot better at it than I am. I'm sure He is. I will continue to TRY.

2013

Well, I guess we're off to a good start this year. Tim had his check-up yesterday. I was more nervous than usual. I saw that his kappa number had risen by about 3 points at his last appointment. I was told some time ago that the free-lites going out of range would be the first sign of relapse. I thought
for sure they'd be out of range now. They were not, but did rise to 18. 19 is the end of the normal range. The head nurse told me to stop worrying, that a few points over 6 months meant nothing to them. Doc said it was not a problem too. His other numbers all look good and M-spike stayed stable at .15. We are very relieved. His red, white, and platelet counts looked really good and I'm convinced it's because work slowed up and his body has gotten a LONG needed rest. The nurse pulled me into a separate room to tell me that a woman from our support group died, so that did put a definite damper on this appt. She did not want to talk of people dying in front of Tim but mentioned that our office has had a very tough time of
it lately and quite a few patients passed away. This SUCKS to hear, to know, to think about. I appreciate that she did this privately with me and I did not tell Tim, said it was just support group talk. There are 3 docs in this practice now and we've seen all of them and formed relationships with them. The 2 we were not seeing yesterday, stopped what they were doing to visit with us, ask Tim how he was, and catch up a bit.
Everyone there is SO nice. We've formed great relationships with so many people. I realized after we left that these people gravitated to him/us while we were there. One doc stopped in the middle of a dictation when he saw us and came into our room to chat. The other was on his way into another room and stopped to check in. I think it raises these guys' spirits to see Tim. It must be SO hard what they do. Seeing people die. Feeling so helpless, at times. I think it's a shot in the arm for them to see patients doing well and living a fulfilling life.
Tim is definitely a success story to them. We feel very blessed to spend most of his appts. joking with his doctors and we take an interest in THEIR lives too and ask about them and their families. After we were done joking around, Tim got his Zometa infusion and we were off for home. I'm breathing a lot easier now.

So, it's back to the rock pile here. I am pushing myself to do things around the house and catch up. Things I will not mention because I was probably posting about them the last 1 or 2 years and am embaressed to say have not accomplished them. I will have much more time to myself now that Tim and I are not coaching softball. Liv is playing for the high school team, and aside from taking her to pitching lessons and practicing with her at home, we get to sit on the bleachers and take it all in now. Huzzah!

 On the family front, the news is still hard. My mom's memory is failing very quickly despite only being 71. SO sad. Just trying to deal with that as best I can. Nothing to be done about it. We still have almost no contact with Tim's family. We took Olivia

to her cousin's college graduation party 2 weeks ago so she could see her cousins and Tim's family. Tim did not even want to go inside. I walked her in and we went home, picking her up later. Congratulated our niece, who came outside to see us(love that kid) and that was that. Very sad state of affairs, but his family's behavior is STILL horrible and we have written them off. It takes a certain kind of person to kick people who are down, even worse to keep doing it, to have it be family members is hard to wrap our brains around but that is what we're dealing with here and we don't want to hang with people like that. They've done so much more harm than good to us and we know now that they can't/won't change and we're not willing to open ourselves up to that kind of treatment again.

So, we are happy to have another 3 month reprieve. Tim, Olivia, and I are like the 3 Musketeers and are VERY close. We're just doing our thing. Coping pretty well despite it all and trying to be grateful each day. I told Tim in 2007 that if he thought he was bailing out on me to leave me to raise a teenage daughter by myself, he was NUTS and I was not letting him off the hook. It's almost 6 years since his diagnosis now, and we're doing it, raising a teenage daughter. So far, it's not so bad. She's a good kid, just whines if you try to take her picture, HATES everything I pick out, doesn't listen to us for beans, and wants everything her friends have. Other than that, she's driving me crazy PERFECT.  Hoping 2013 is a great year for y'all!!!!