Finding out who your friends are

I have learned over the last 4 years that cliches are always right. My sister hates them, irritates her just to hear them spoken. I think that I have never found one that isn't true and even more so now. At one point, I thought that if you lived your life following the advice of cliches, you'd probably do OK actually. There is a conversation going on now on the ACOR MM listserv about
your attitude and outlook while dealing with cancer and it has morphed into things people say
to you and now, finding out who your friends are. I have said some things on here about that subject in my own life. As I've said before, I think I've only told one member of my in-laws about this blog and a friend or two. It is my place to spout off and I don't advertise it to too many people I know, but I don't say too much just in case. We have indeed been disappointed in these last few years about the lack of support we've gotten from some people even in our inner circle. It hurts and yeah, we're a bit ticked off too. But I am grateful for
the support that has come from others. I think most of us have found that even strangers or
people we don't know well can sometimes move us to tears by their genuine niceness when it
was not even expected. But I think I have just heard the worst "find out who your friends are" story I have ever heard. This woman wrote into the listserv that her brother refused to be tested to see if he was a match to donate stem cells if it came to that. She doesn't speak to him
much now. THEN her best friend was having marriage problems right about the time she had
her auto transplant so she moved into her house to "help" her. As the woman wrote, the
"friend" then "helped herself" to her man of 7 years right there in the very house. HOLY SHEEP SH**!!!!!!!! That is the worst I've ever heard. She said that it was not a pretty sight when she found out. The fact that these 2 people are still alive, I think, is either testament to this woman's unbelievable self control or how downright freekin' wiped out you are after a transplant. I would have killed them both, got an attorney and claimed justifiable homicide, and took my chances with a jury!!! OK maybe not, but man, if ever there was a case for justifiable homicide, that's it. We've all heard stories about women losing their man and best friend in this way but when you're recovering from a transplant and they're supposed to be helping you! As if Melphalan doesn't take the rug out from under you enough! This woman should get an award for
downright dogged determination in rising out of the ashes under such circumstances. My hat's off to her!