Today, February 3rd, is Tim's birthday. He is 53. He was diagnosed with myeloma just over a month after his 43rd birthday. To say I am grateful that he is here 10 years later, that he has been off chemo since our daughter's 10th birthday, over 8 and 1/2 years ago, and that he got to see her grow to be an adult, well, that would be an understatement. I am beyond grateful. So many answered prayers and memories made in these 10 years.
BUT, I am also still angry and bereft that this happened to him and us in the first place. We may have been able to step back from the front line of battle these last 8+ years but I have never felt that we were out of the fox hole. We lived our lives in 1 to 3 month installments, sweating out lab results and every ache and illness. He has been hospitalized several times. And, we knew the other shoe would drop eventually. Life is still hard. VERY hard.
Today, after he gets home from work, we will drive down to see our kid at college and take in a basketball game she has to work this evening. Tomorrow he has a PET CT scan. No escaping reality for very long for us. Next Friday, he is planned to re-start chemo. It's hard to be cheery about what this year holds for us. I have to try, as I always struggle to do, to live in the moment and take it a day at a time.
Trying to move forward with my word of the year.......HOPE.
Happy birthday, Tim! You are my everything!
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- tim's wife
- I'm a 58 yr. old mom to Olivia. We own a wood flooring business and live in suburbia "across the river on the Jersey side." My husband, Tim, was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in March of 2007. This blog is where I vent my thoughts about our life on the MM rollercoaster.
3 comments:
Happy Birthday to Tim!!
Going on Revlimid hopefully won't be too hard. I was on it for 5 years and didn't have too many problems except for the GI (diarrhea). It's always scary to start something but I'm sure he'll do okay. He's had a long time off drugs so the Revlimid ( I guessing) should be pretty effective to bring his numbers back down. Tell him to hang in for me..
Hang in there, it is a long journey. Each day is a gift. Easy advice from a guy who is still early in the disease. I have quarterly tests and annual trips to UAMS mirt, it has taught me appreciate each day. Take Care
Keith
Hi ,
I am new to this blog and site..my husband was diagnosed with MM last year and I fully understand your feelings. What began as a simple leg pain turned out to be the longest journey of our life with a diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma and unexpected chemo sessions and finally a Stem Cell Transplant.
We are nearing a year after the diagnosis and treatment and try to live our life as normally as we can, but definitely we have had to make a lot of changes to our lifestyle. A year I guess as a family we cannot forget!
I am thankful for each day we take and each moment we live together.
I don't know really what hurts me most, is it the fact that we live in a subconscious fear of what may happen tomorrow because of things we hear around us or scientific details of the diseases we read about each day. I guess even the simple questions and encouragement from friends and relatives makes us wonder why do they say that to us in particular. I look at my children and wonder will we be together as a family for their important occasions in life. There are days when I am tough as can be and there are moments, when my heart hurts beyond my ability to express it in words.
I realize one thing though. A diagnosis is not the determiner of our life's timeline. I can walk across the road and be involved in some accident that could cripple me, I could be on a flight that never lands, I could be anywhere and my time on earth could end just like that. It is our faith that God is in control. So each morning, my husband and I choose to live to the fullest. We have come this far, the journey has not been smooth physically or emotionally, but one day at a time, we have come this far.
Just want you to now, I understand exactly how you feel, how your eyes can well up with tears when you least expect...
Take care......we are all in it together!
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