So Mr. Brabbs has started this thankful trend for Thursdays and I think it's a super idea. If it
were not for the fact that I started to force myself to look for the silver linings in life, both
now that we're dealing with Tim's MM and years back when I was dealing with my own health
problems, I think I would have lost it completely long ago. There are many things you can change in your life if they are not working for you: your job, relationship, where you live. But when something pretty bad happens to your health, it's not something that can be changed either easily or at all. There is just no running away from it.
That's when you have to dig real deep. You need something to believe in, hope, and most of all,
a thankful heart. There were times in my past when my life was so messed up from an undiagnosed health problem that I told Tim that it felt like the only thing I had to be grateful
for was that the elastic wasn't shot in my underwear. But, sometimes, you just have to start from there and work up. My life was very difficult but I thought, I can see, I can walk, I have a roof over my head. Despite
my problems, there are countless people who would trade places with me today and swap the
cross they're bearing for mine. This point was driven even further home for me when Christopher Reeve was paralyzed on our wedding day. Sounds morbid but as the years passed in our marriage, I was still dealing with my health problems, but I was always mindful that this man had been unable to walk or even breath on his own for all that time. So, with all the hardships we've faced, that is how I get myself
through. I tried very hard not to fall into that depression that comes from feeling sorry for yourself. It's certainly not that you want to see people worse off than yourself, it's the fact that
no matter what you're dealing with, there is just about always something to be grateful for. I just read a post over at another MM blog(walking with the big EZ). It's a beautiful post about this man finally getting to visit his parents on their 300 acre mountain home. And I thought after reading it and seeing the photos, "MM or not, this is a blessed man and family." So today, I am grateful for my family. For my parents who have done whatever they could to help despite the heartbreak they feel. For my sisters who have been my shrinks through all this. When there is not always a whole lot that people can do to help, just letting someone vent and unload some of
the burden they have is enough. It's a lighter cross when you've got folks helping you carry it.
Here's hoping y'all have folks with strong shoulders walking with you on this journey.
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2 comments:
You so hit the nail on the head with the comment about changing things - it would be so great to have a set of directions - no matter how hard that said 'If you do x, y, z you will absolutely remain healthy'.
I still occasionally get an overwhelming feeling of 'I can't cope with being ill', generally when I'm feeling really good but fortunately it passes quickly.
I too thought Ernie's post was just delightful.
I think what is wonderful about this blog-life is that we can all share the ups and downs, the successes and the less-thans, and by so doing the load may still be heavy, but we know there is someone behind us or ahead of us who has carried a similar burden to the top of the hill.
I am thankful for the education that the MM bloggers have given me so that as a relative I can have a better understanding of what the patient and the caregiver are facing... but I wish this disease would just disappear all the same.
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