Bullying

Well, here we go again. Olivia is having a problem in school and I have a feeling I know exactly who is behind it and why. A girl we had to take out of her life at 5 because of physical violence and emotional bullying has been her friend again for a few years. I have always been wary though. This girl is very bossy and manipulative, her mom still has no control over her, and she is charming around adults but then you
hear about the things she does or says to kids when the adults aren't around and I have come to warning Olivia about her. They were our neighbors but the parents are divorcing and she has been living at her grandma's house. I have reached out and tried to support the mom and pick the girl up and include her in activities as they go through this tough time. I think what has happened now is this girl found out that Olivia was becoming very friendly and having play dates with a mutual friend and this girl decided to put the kibash on it. She and another of her bratty co-horts have dragged this friend away from Olivia and little by little, they are involving more and more of Liv's friends in it. Yesterday, ironically on a day that I was going to a bullyng lecture at the high school, Liv came home to tell us that her BEST friend has now turned against her and is being mean. This is a girl who sleeps over our house and we take her all over with Liv to different activities. Liv is so upset. I could not even sleep last night and felt sick to my stomach with worry over this. I am going to see the school counselor today. She was at this lecture last night. I want to get to the bottom of this. Olivia goes to a middle school now that was just formed. They were looking for a motto for the school and put it out to the kids. Olivia's motto was chosen and will now be used for now on for the school. They announced it over the loudspeaker. Olivia was so proud. Once again though, I think this may have caused a problem with girls who need to be the center of attention, just like we have with Olivia's softball pitching, because they wanted their motto to be chosen. Some kids are happy for you.
Some are jealous and your achievements become something that loses you friends. The low self esteem and jealousy among girls is at an all time high. What I heard at this lecture last night basically proved to me that bullying is spiralling out of control and the technology we have today is partly to blame. Bullies are known to be cowards but now their taunts can be done anonymously with texts, e-mails, and false facebook accounts that hide true identities. One woman at this meeting has a son that has been bullied since kindergarten. He is in middle school now I think. They finally took action and the school disciplined the captain of the football team for something he did to this boy and now the boy is being bullied by the WHOLE football team. The state of NJ is required to give every child an education. Bullies will never be expelled because then the school system has to pay for private tutors for that child. School systems are broke so that won't happen. So this law that guarantees everyone an education trumps the bullies' victims' rights to an education in a safe, non-hostile environment. Hello legislative and school board people!!! Kids
are committing suicide for Pete's sake. They are developing anxiety conditions, panic attacks,
health problems and habits like "cutting" or turning to drugs or alcohol to dull the pain. They are developing self esteem problems that follow them their entire lives. When are these bullies, and their parents, going to be held accountable? I'm tired of all this beating around the bush and political correctness. This problem will not be solved unless the schools get tough about it. Call those parents in EVERY time their kid bullies. Insist that they play a role in trying to fix the problem.Take away priveleges. This stuff happens at lunch and on the playground. Have a bully spend those periods in the principal's office. He'll get tired of that eventually. If that doesn't work, suspend the kid from the ball team.
Every kid has their currency. There needs to be some incentive to stop the bad behavior and that doesn't happen until THEY THEMSELVES start paying the price for their actions. Hearing some of these stories last night broke my heart. Hearing that my daughter's best buddy is being so cruel to her was SO disappointing to all of us here. Another girl, who is usually painfully shy, stuck up for my daughter yesterday and I think I am going to call her mom(who I know well) and thank her daughter and let them know how appreciative we are for her standing by Liv.
Now, if i could just get Olivia to find her own voice and stand up for herself. How do you get them to do that when the last thing they want to do is speak out against a "friend." She's too nice!
And unfortuntately, in this day and age, that gets you steam-rolled. Good Lord, it is hard having kids. NOTHING worse in the whole world
than seeing your child suffer. And in our case, I get so upset thinking our kid already has SUCH a difficult life. School and sports are her escape and it's really hard to see that turn south too. I think I'm gonna go drown my sorrows in a bath. 5+ more years of this crap. Splendid!