Can you stand another installment of "he never listens to me?"

Just this morning, we were talking with our employee about how fast cats and dogs can be.

Many years ago, when Tim and I were early in our dating years, he found this out about my cat. Malcolm was a gorgeous, pure white, long-haired cat who was very laid back and serene in his movements. One would not think he could move fast judging by the slow pace he kept most of the time. But when he had a reason, he moved like lightening. My father never believed in de-clawing cats so Malcolm was fully armed. We had just celebrated a birthday and the cat had been playing with a shirt box on the floor. It was ripped and Tim was on the floor sticking his finger through the hole and tempting the cat. I said, "don't do that. He is going to lay you open."

True to form, he ignored me and said the cat would never catch him. Malcolm waited patiently for the right moment and then Whammo!

Tim pulled his hand back just as Malcolm's claw went into his finger tip and with both pulling in opposite directions, Tim's finger was ripped open. He has always been a "bleeder." Even a small cut always bled pretty good on Tim so this flowed pretty well. My parents came home right after this happened and my father saw the blood on the shirt box, which I had not picked up yet to toss out(too busy bandaging Tim up.) He asked what happened. I said, "Tim thought he was faster than Malcolm."

My father laughed and I'm sure made a funny crack about it. A few years back when Sophie was still alive, Tim was getting her all riled up with a biscuit. He would wave a biscuit around and hide it in his pockets and the dog would get all frothed up searching and sniffing trying to find it.

This one time, he was sitting on a kitchen chair doing this to Sophie, who by the way was 75 pounds of pure muscle and never knew her own strength. Then, as the dog is frantically watching his hands and trying to find it, he slipped it into his mouth(most of it sticking out) and continued to trick her with his hands. I said, "Tim don't do that. You're gonna get hurt." He said, "No I won't." The dog is checking pockets and totally hyper by now and I warn him again, he ignores me. Sophie looks up, sees the biscuit sticking out of his mouth, and Whammo. She shot up at him so fast, he had no time to react. She came away with the biscuit in a millisecond and I look at him and he has dog saliva and blood running from his mouth and actually dripping on the floor. The dog's mouth hit into his so hard and fast that his tooth cut into his lip and he was bleeding. He never tried that hiding place for a biscuit again. Today though, he decides to try this same tactic with Lacey. I said, "are you kidding? You didn't learn the last time?" This time, he

escaped injury. Lacey does not have the same reach and weight behind her though at only 24 pounds, she can still be a "bull in the china shop" at times. She had to get up on her hind legs and reach for it as he bent over and let her take it. Lucky for him because me and my head cold had no intention of getting off the couch to stop the bleeding if this went the other way. It's only a matter of time though. Now that he got away with it, he will use that as one of his hiding spots and that dog will get him sooner or later. He never learns.