Now THIS is funny

If you ever met my sister's mother-in-law.....well...lets just say people cross the street to avoid running into her. I know, 'cause I've done it. She is just nuts, takes narcissism to a whole new level, and honestly, she will strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, start talking about her medical problems, and before long will be describing her bowel movements to them. Again... I know, 'cause....you get the picture. She almost destroyed my sister's marriage to her son because she could not let him go. She then thought she would raise their daughter too, when she was born. I guess it seemed natural to her since she treated her son like her husband. Mind you, her own daughter moved out of the house before she was even 18 and then left for Boston so she could stay away from her. Anyway, my sister at one point had to keep her out of her home for 6 months because the woman started a fight there right in front of her daughter. When she was allowed to visit again my sis and her husband told her that for now on, there would be boundaries that she would obey or she
would not be permitted to visit anymore. So, cut to a few weeks ago, she gets my 8 yr. old niece in her bedroom alone and procedes to tell her about her brother who was an alcoholic and committed suicide.
(sidebar here, her brother's widow then changed her phone number AS WELL as her daughter's cell # and told my sis' m-i-l they didn't want to hear from her again.) Then she started talking about how cigarettes cause cancer and kill you. My bro-in-law smokes and drinks beer so these really aren't things my niece needs to hear. Then she starting telling her about what happened in NYC about the kid that was grabbed and killed. When my sis found all this out after she left, she sent her an
e-mail and told her that this was inappropriate and the kid was freaked now. She needs to put it in writing and cc her husband or his mother will lie about what my sister said. I know Miss Paula may be bursting about now.  BTW, Cathy's(my sister) m-i-l lives in Georgia now. So anyhoo, the m-i-l wanted to do skype  with my niece now and my sis told her husband that is the only way they will talk now because this woman cannot be trusted on the phone to talk appropriately to an 8 yr. old. At least with skype, my sis can hear it all.
So my sis and her family just went to Lake George for a week. They take my b-i-l's father, who is divorced from his mom, YA THINK. His mom is remarried. They would never take his mom though. There's no way theywould let her ruin their vacation. So Chris(my b-i-l) has a brother who at mid 30's has his first girlfriend ever. She is a really pretty school teacher but Mike refuses to even tell his mother he has a girlfriend after seeing what she did to my sis' relationship with his brother. They've been dating since Dec. and his mom has NO idea. So Mike last minute decides to rent a cabin with the woman and go to Lake George with everyone else. The cabin was disgusting but they stuck it out. He asks my sis not to tell his mom about his girlfriend. She says,
"no worries there Mike but all bets are off with a 4 and 8 year old." He said, " I know, but just make sure you and Chris don't slip."  So cut to a skype conversation that just happened a few hours ago. My 8 yr. old niece, who thinks she's 30, told her grandma that she doesn't want her talking about anything violent to her anymore. Then Bobbie( the name grandma made up because she doesn't want to be called grandma) says,
"Ya know what Sierra? someday, me and Dino(her husband) would like to come to Lake George with you guys." (My sis almost chokes and is reaching for her blender and margarita mix at this point) Bobbie says,
"we wouldn't stay in the same house, we'd get our own place and just stay for 3 days or so." So with that Sierra says, "Well OK Bobbie but whatever you do, don't stay in the place Mike and Dana stayed in!" Cathy and Chris are like OH NO and they quietly get her attention and say "Sierra!" and start giving the slash across the throat sign to get her to stop saying this, to which Sierra says, "Uh Oh Bobbie, everyone is doing this to me now" as she shows Bobbie on skype the universal "cut" throat slashing motion. Bobbie is on her skype down in Georgia silent with her mouth hanging open. She's in complete shock and Cathy says to Chris, "MAY DAY, hurry up and call Mike with a heads up!"  Now I don't know if this reads funny. I can tell you that if you knew the characters in this little ditty, you'd know how doggone funny this is. My sis just told me on the phone and I am still chuckling. I tell ya, kids are a riot. My condolences go out to Mike tonight who is NEVER going to hear the end of this and is probably on the phone now getting the lecture of his life. When his girlfriend mentioned to Cathy once that Mike doesn't seem to want her to meet his mom(she hasn't a clue why), my sister told her she understood his reasoning and she'd ride that as far as she could if it were her.