Boy there are just days that I can get so fed up that I wonder what it is this life thing is all about.
Yesterday, we went for Olivia's softball pitching lesson. We showed up and nobody was there. I
knew something was wrong. We waited and her coach, a woman younger than us with a toddler,
came driving into the parking lot to tell us that her dad died and she forgot to call us to cancel.
This is the second time in a month that someone I just saw(he owns the pitching clinic and coaches right next to us when we're there) died of a heart attack. In this man's case, he went to
the doctor for shortness of breath. His wife felt certain that he'd be hospitalized as he is a diabetic with issues. The doc told him he had a cold and to go home. He was later found dead on the couch by his daughter(Liv's coach). Man, you're just here one minute, gone the next. I mean,
don't get me wrong, if you have to go, something quick is the way to do it but with what we have
hanging over our heads in this family, all these losses serve as a reminder of how quickly it could
all change. And a reminder that at least he was 69, not too old at all but better than being sick in your 40's. The
woman we just lost from my bible class was in her 80's so there is a whole, long life that got lived
there. There was a funeral at our church today for a 41 year old father of 3. Those stories hit way too close to home for me. I have been dragging my feet setting up my own gyn. check-up and mammogram after the disaster they led to last year. The fear of something happening to me too just freezes me. I find myself praying all the time, "please GOD, let us raise this child." Then Olivia came home today and told me that there were some
girls(who they refer to as the "popular" girls) who were talking about her and someone said her name loud enough that she heard she was the topic of their conversation. You can have a thousand bullying programs at your school but the bottom line is that kids can be cruel and some things will never change. We are now coming into the age with our daughter where the claws
are coming out even worse with these "popular girls" and the cyber bullying is alive and well in our society. I think for some of them, the insecurity they have is what makes them do this to others first before it's done to them. I still always wonder if parents nowadays are talking to their kids about
how wrong this is and the kids aren't listening or if we live in a world where too many times, the
parents are overwhelmed with just trying to keep their jobs and pay the bills and these "talks" just never happen. I'm sure both of these situations are happening. My kid is still paying the price at school for our neighbor's kid's(who doesn't even go to this school) behavior when she told a bunch of girls in softball not to play with Olivia and who knows what else she said, all
because Olivia blew by her in pitching ability. So I encourage Liv, practice with her, and pay 50 bucks a pop for her to get lessons cause she has some real talent there, thinking this is great for self-esteem and
it backfires and the other girls that pitch are so jealous that she's so good that they have to find some way to tear her down to make themselves feel better. Oh these next years may be difficult ones and I just hate to hear this hurtful stuff. Such a pity that you have to teach your child how to deal with this and that there's no real way to stop it either. I think there's a lot more
"taking the high road" and "be the bigger person" speeches in my future. OY!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Perhaps it will help to remind your daughter that there are only two ways to communicate: through love and non-love. All loving words are kind, thoughtful, encouraging, positive, etc. The rest are... well, you know. People who are not speaking from the heart, from love, are crying for help. They are to be pitied. Angry and spiteful comments are cries for help. Pity them because they know not what they need... more love. They only beat up on others because they are in such emotional pain... just an idea.
I totally agree. My friend says,
"hurt people hurt other people".
They need to make others feel worse or as bad as they feel. One of these girls who did this yesterday lost her dad to cancer 2 years ago.
I'd certainly say there's some emotional pain there.
Oh bother, can you believe that the word verification to post this comment is "cancera". I just can't get away from that subject.
hey I dealt with the same issue tonight with my 11 yr old son. He is easy going, kind and compassionate. Kids like to pick on him because he wrestles and our family owns a martial arts studio. He has never hit anyone. Tonight I told him if these same boys hit, or kick you again, you need to yell really loud so that you have witnesses, "If you do that again I am going to take you down" (He is a good wrestler and two steps from being a black belt) Then take them down to the ground and sit on them and tell them to leave him alone. This is what we teach at the studio.
Schools are always teaching children to not be a bully, but sometimes we need to teach our children to not be a victim. He may get in trouble, but he has learned to stick up for himself and sometimes that is more important than a trip to the Principals office. By the way my husband is a school principal. Well it's the middle of the night and I'm on dex so forgive me if I get a little riled. There are times to walk away but when things turn physical then you have to not play the victim. enough said. I now girls react differently. and no matter where you live there are always those"popular girls" usually hiding pain. Oh can't we all just get along!
P.S. my word was hydri does that my cancer is high and dry...gone forever one can always wish.
Post a Comment